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“What’d he look like?” I asked.

“Big white guy,” the man shrugged.

It didn’t mean anything to me. I knew a lot of big white guys that might have a reason to hurt me.

“What color hair?” I asked the man who’d just saved my life.

“Had a hat on,” the man said. “You gonna be all right?”

I could tell the guy wanted to get going. He had done his good deed. I was shaken though and it showed. He offered to accompany me a ways and I didn’t say no. We jogged together back toward Coney where Ruby was waiting for me.

I hated to see the pinched look on her face and the way her gray eyes turned dark. She was standing with a big guy who looked Italian. I was wary for a minute, but he had a nice face. Right away they both seemed to know I was holding out on her, and I knew the time had come to tell her. Some of it at least. I was already regretting how my problems could cloud up what had, so far, been simple.

Ruby wrapped me in her red coat and wanted to call the cops. As for my savior, after nodding at Ruby, he just took off. I never even found out his name.

A number of hours had passed now and all the fire I’d felt in my body earlier was long gone. In its place was a fear that I could taste at the back of my mouth, like someone had put a gun barrel in my throat and left it there to rust.

RUBY STOPPED PLAYING piano and turned to me. “Are you hungry?” she asked, frowning a little, like thoughts of my possible hunger had suddenly invaded and disturbed her.

“Always,” I said.

“Let me rephrase that. Will you eat something?”

“Something, yeah. What do we have?” I asked, feeling awkward the moment the words left my lips, thinking that the we and its implication of lasting coupledom was grossly forward of me.

Ruby either didn’t notice or wasn’t jarred by it. She got up from the piano bench. “Let’s see,” she said, heading into the kitchen.

I wrestled myself from the couch and followed her.

“I’m a miserable failure at food procurement,” she said, after opening and closing the kitchen cabinets a few times. She looked dejected and vastly appealing. She was wearing dark blue jeans and a long-sleeved red T-shirt that clung to her chest.

I ached for her even though she was standing right there.

“You shouldn’t have to be bothered with mortal tasks such as those,” I said, reaching for her hand and kissing the sweet spot on the inside of her wrist. She laughed.

“Protein shake?” she said.

“That’s fine, yes,” I said.

She pulled out the container of protein powder and put powder, juice, and bananas into an ancient-looking blender.

“You know what I think,” Ruby said as she poured us each a mug of protein drink.

“About what?” I asked, sipping at the beverage and trying not to make a face. Her culinary ineptitude was such that even the protein drink tasted funny.

“About what happened on the beach.”

“I don’t want to go into it right now.”

“Don’t shut me out,” she said, her face pinching slightly so that her mouth seemed smaller.

“I’m not, Ruby, it’s just that I have some things to work out and until I’ve done that, I can’t discuss any of this with you.”

“That bad?” She drew her eyebrows together.

“No, not that bad.” I lied. Things were that bad. But I wanted to keep her away from the kind of fear I was living with.

I steered the subject elsewhere, asking her when she was going to take me to hear some of her beloved classical music. I knew she occasionally went to concerts at Lincoln Center or Carnegie Hall. She’d even taken her friend Big Sal to hear some Bach in a church. So far though, she hadn’t offered to take me to any cultural events.

“I didn’t know you were that interested,” she said, looking surprised.

I wasn’t really but I was trying to share her passions.

Ruby started foraging through some mail on the kitchen table, producing a schedule for Lincoln Center. She read off details of several different concerts, explaining the merits of each.

“You decide,” I said softly.

“Okay,” she shrugged. She finished off her protein drink.

“I’ve got to get back to practicing now. Do you mind?