Gasping for Airtime - Jay Mohr [90]
That was also the week I took Rick Shapiro’s act and wrote it down word for word and submitted it as my sketch. Rick Shapiro was a comic in Greenwich Village. In his act, he did an impression of an Irish bartender who shouted at his customers. The skit was hilarious, and long before I got on Saturday Night Live, my friends and I had quoted it to one another. In the routine, a customer would approach the bar and inform the bartender that his drink order was wrong. The bartender would be polite and say, “Aw, I’m awfully sorry.” He would continue: “Here’s another drink you’ll love. It’s called, ‘Get out! You’re fired!’” Another patron in the routine would tell the bartender a joke and the bartender would say: “Aw, that’s a great joke! You like jokes, do ya? Here’s one for ya…Get out! You’re fired!”
When the sketch was picked to be on the air, I was officially fucked. Rick Shapiro’s Irish bartender sketch sailed through the Wednesday selection meeting and coasted smoothly through rehearsals on Thursday and Friday. It cleared the dress rehearsal on Saturday and wasn’t cut after the live dress rehearsal that night. The show that had been selected in Lorne’s office between dress rehearsal and air ran as scheduled, and the Irish bartender sketch was broadcast live across America. For a few weeks after the show aired, I avoided going to the comedy clubs for fear of bumping into Rick or any comic who had ever seen him perform, which was all of them.
Three weeks later, on Saturday night during the live dress rehearsal (the night that Courteney Cox hosted and I did my second “Good Morning, Brooklyn”), the show’s supervising producer, Ken Aymong, called me over. I was on my way to the stage dressed as James Barone when he asked me to follow him. He led me to a room behind the control room that I had never been in before. In the room was a table with a few chairs and a small cabinet. On top of the cabinet was a television and a VCR. Sitting in front of the television was Lorne Michaels.
Ken asked me if I knew a guy named Rick Shapiro. I told him I did not. Ken then pressed play on the VCR, and in front of me on the monitor was a video of Rick Shapiro doing his act. On the tape in the VCR, he was doing the Irish bartender sketch. He was doing it exactly the way I copied it. Ken let the tape play a while. Finally Lorne asked me, “You’ve never heard of this guy or seen his act?” I replied that I had not. Lorne nodded his head and Ken Aymong turned off the VCR. Lorne looked at me for a second and said, “Okay.” And I walked out of the room.
Later, I found out that Rick and his manager were suing the show. Why wouldn’t they? I don’t know the particulars but a settlement was reached, and in the settlement the Irish bartender sketch was edited out of all of the reruns. Undoubtedly I should have been fired, but I wasn’t. I never saw Rick Shapiro again, but if I did, I would have acted as if I didn’t see him. What I did was inexcusable, and no apology in the world could ever make up for it.
Whenever someone would ask me about the sketch and point out that it was in Rick’s act, I would tell them that five different people had written the sketch and I was just put in it. Nobody bought it, and the reputation for being a thief followed me for quite a while in the only place I had ever felt comfortable: the comedy clubs.
After I stole Rick Shapiro’s act, I didn’t even know if I should bother handing anything in. Would Lorne believe I wrote it? I resubmitted a “Ricki Lake” sketch that had been cut earlier in the season and it didn’t get on.
The week after Paul Reiser hosted, John Goodman and Dan Aykroyd cohosted and Bill Murray was floating through the hallways on Saturday, too. It was an exciting week for all of us. John Goodman was always a great host,