Girl Meets Boy - Ali Smith [10]
All round me there was frantic scribbling down, there were little clickings of buttons. Keith got down off the desk. He began to walk back and fore at the top of the room.
What you come up with, he said, will need to indicate that water really matters to us. It will need to let us know that human beings aren’t ruled by nature, that on the contrary, they ARE nature. That’s good. They ARE nature. It will need to be about mindset. It will need not just to open minds to our product, but to suggest that our product is the most open-minded on the market. We can’t use Purely. The Alaskans use Purely. We can’t use Clearly. The Canadians use Clearly. We can’t use Highland. Our biggest rivals use Highland. But our name will need to imply all three. So come on, people. Throw me a name. I need a name. We need a name for our water. Come on. Ideas. I need to hear them. Purely. Clearly. Highland. Nature. Power. Ideas. Now. Concepts. Now.
Keith snapped his fingers as he said each single word.
Fluidity, a nice shavey called out next to me. Recycling. How water is smart, how water is graceful, how water, since it can change shape and form, can make us versatile –
Good, Keith said, good, good! Keep it coming –
– and how we’re all actually about seventy-five per cent water. We need to suggest that water IS us. We need to suggest that water can unite us. No matter what our political or national differences.
That’s very, very good, Keith said. Well done, Paul. Run with it.
The whole room turned and bristled with jealousy at Paul.
Of the first water, the one who was maybe called Brian said. Still waters run deep, a shavey called Dominic shouted from across the room. Soon the room was running pretty deep in thesaurus clichés. In deep water. Won’t hold water. Get into hot water. Head above water. Throw cold water.
Water is about well-being, Midge said. About being well.
Nobody heard her.
It’s all about well-being, an unfamiliar Creative said on the other side of the room.
I like that, Keith said. Very good point, Norm.
I saw Midge look down, disheartened, and in that moment I saw what it was that was different about my sister now. I saw it in the turn of her head and the movement of her too-thin wrist. How had I not seen it? She was far too thin. She was really thin.
And product package will dwell on how water makes you healthy, keeps you healthy, Dominic said.
Maybe marketed with health-conscious products or a healthy make-yourself-over or let-yourself-relax package specifically aimed at women stroke families, Norm said. Water keeps your kids healthy.
Good point, Norm, Keith said.
I’d had enough.
You could call it Och Well, I said.
Call it–? Keith said.
He stared at me.
The whole room turned and stared at me.
I’m dead, I thought. Och well.
You could call it Affluent, I said. That pretty much sums it up. Or maybe that sounds too like Effluent. I know. You could call it Main Stream. On the lid it could say You’re Always Safer Sticking With The Main Stream.
The whole room was silent, and not in a good way.
You could call it Scottish Tap, I said into the hush. That’d be good and honest. Whatever good means.
Keith raised his eyebrows. He jutted out his chin.
Transparency, Midge said quick. It’s not a bad route, Keith. It could be a really, really good route, no?
A we-won’t-mess-with-you route, Paul said nodding. It’s mindset all right. And it combines honesty and nationality in the same throw. Honest Scottishness. Honest-to-goodness goodness in a bottle.
It takes and makes a stand, Midge said. Doesn’t it? And that’s half the bottle, I mean battle.
Where you stand lets you know what really matters. If we suggest our bottled water takes and makes a stand, it’ll become bottled idealism, Paul