Girl Next Door - Alyssa Brugman [60]
'Mum!' Bryce Cole pleads.
'I didn't mean to impose. We'll go now.' My mum stands up. 'I'll pay you back as soon as I can,' Mum tells Bryce Cole.
Barb arches her real eyebrows again. If she knew how it looked she wouldn't do it. 'You owe him money? That's a new one.' She thumps the coffee mugs on the table in front of each of us, and the thin brown liquid slops over the side. 'I've made the coffee now, so yous might as well drink it.'
'No, really. Thank you for the trouble, but we must . . .' Mum begins.
'Drink it!' Barb says.
We drink our coffees. I don't even drink coffee normally. It's disgusting, but I drink it because Barb is glaring, and I don't want to embarrass anyone.
'What did you think, coming back here?' Barb shakes her head. 'Not that I ever expected better – not from the very beginning. Couldn't find your arse with two hands and a flashlight.'
Bryce Cole rubs his face.
'Has he ever told you about his "business"? Yeah, he used to drive around the country, picking up other people's crap! No wonder he went broke.'
Bryce Cole is standing in the doorway. He drums his fingers on the frame. Why doesn't he say something? Why doesn't he just tell her to piss off?
'Good. For. Nothing.' She sounds out each word.
Mum stands up. 'I'm going now. Thank you for the coffee.' She stalks down the corridor.
We all follow.
My mum thinks Barb is a bad mother for saying Bryce Cole is good for nothing, but really, Mum always says that I'm good for everything, and that doesn't mean she knows me any better than Barb knows Bryce Cole.
But then I don't know my mum at all. I don't know my dad. I don't know Declan, either, and I thought I knew him best in the whole world.
See, the reason I was freaking out at the Chinese restaurant and why I didn't want to talk to him was, when we got to the end of what we did, Declan said, 'Shall I pay you now?'
It was a joke. He was picking up on what I said way back when we were in the alley – I said that the girls on the internet get paid to do what they do, but it also kind of wasn't a joke, because Declan knows that I don't love him that way. Besides, he was still a little bit cranky from when I said that what he did to that Aiden boy was sexual abuse, and he'd been looking for a way to get me back.
We were lying on our backs side by side on his bed, and I felt like there was a big weight on my chest, so heavy that I couldn't breathe. All of a sudden we weren't even any more. He was Declan – the same as he had always been – but I was the povvo skank from the caravan park who gives it up.
It makes me mad because I never thought Declan would buy into all that old-fashioned 'girls should be all shy and withholding' crap. If we're truly equal then girls should be allowed to have desire too. Girls should be allowed to experiment without feeling shame and humiliation, and like it's always their responsibility to stop everything.
I want to know how come in this century that part is still my job.
It also made me want to punch him, because he made me feel bad so casually. He didn't even notice that he'd hurt me.
And now I understand why, if you live in a caravan park – with no roof space and no possibility of treasure – and you see some other guy about your age looking down his nose at the way you live – some guy with designer clothes and straight teeth, who stands up straight with square shoulders because he's going to get pretty much whatever he wants without having to try very hard – you'd want to goad him out of his caravan by saying rude things about his mother and sister, and then punch the crap out of him.
25
JUST LIKE
J'ADORE
Bryce Cole takes us to the Bowling Club. I've never been to a club before. It looks like an airport, with lots of glass, empty spaces, bad commercial carpet, and announcements over loudspeakers. People sit on the plastic chairs at plastic tables as though