Girls in Pants - Ann Brashares [73]
Christina tried to focus. It didn’t look like the question made any sense to her. The answer was so profoundly no that the question hardly applied.
“In her birth plan she specified natural childbirth. That means, basically, no drugs,” Lauren explained to Tibby. “That’s partly why she’s working with me instead of an OB. Midwives don’t prescribe the heavy stuff.”
It didn’t seem a good sign that they were talking about Christina rather than to her. “An OB is…a doctor?” Tibby asked, wondering for a moment if a doctor wouldn’t be a good idea right now. If she were Christina she would want the heavy stuff. She would want the heaviest stuff, and every bit of it they had. She would want them to knock her out so completely that she wouldn’t wake up for a week.
“It seems like you should make that plan when you’re actually giving birth. Then at least you know what it feels like,” Tibby opined, but Lauren wasn’t listening.
Lauren was now studying the printout with some degree of interest. “Christina, let me check you again, hon. These contractions are coming fast and furious.”
Christina was shaking her head. “No. I don’t want to.” Her legs were clamped shut.
“We’ll wait until this contraction is over.” Lauren stroked Christina’s shoulders in a way that was meant to be soothing, but Christina was not soothed. She was writhing. She pushed Lauren away. “I can’t. I’m not ready.” Christina’s voice was breaking up into sobs.
Lauren cast a look at Tibby that seemed to say she was certainly the most horrendous labor partner any pregnant woman had ever been saddled with. Tibby did feel bad. Not because of Lauren—she didn’t really care what Lauren thought—but because of Christina. Christina was alone here. She didn’t have her husband or her sister or her daughter or her mother. She had Tibby.
Tibby’s instinct was to get on the bed with Christina, but her muscles were fighting with her. They were remembering Bailey, and more recently, Katherine. Tibby did not have happy associations with beds in hospitals. Who did?
Christina was in a ball. She was crying quietly. Tibby suffered a deep ache in her chest, climbing up to her throat.
“I need to check you, Christina. I need to see where you are,” Lauren said.
She’s right there! Tibby felt like screaming. Leave her alone!
“I’m not ready,” Christina said, weeping.
Lauren tried to uncurl Christina, but Christina fought her off.
Tibby couldn’t stand it anymore. She got on the bed with Christina. She grabbed her hands and squeezed them hard. That seemed to get her attention.
Lauren still pulled at Christina’s legs.
“She said she’s not ready!” Tibby roared.
Lauren looked taken aback, like Tibby had smacked her. Then, to Tibby’s utter astonishment, Lauren put her face to the side of Tibby’s head. She kissed her temple.
As if this day could get any stranger.
“That a girl,” Lauren whispered. “Fight for her. She needs you.”
Tibby pulled Christina up by her hands. She looked into her eyes. “Christina, I’m here. Look at me, okay? Hold my hands. Squeeze them as hard as it hurts.” That was something Alice used to say to Tibby when she had to get a shot.
Christina was coming down from a contraction. She looked lost, but slowly she zeroed in on Tibby.
Tibby knelt by her. “I’m here. You’re okay. Show me how much it hurts.”
The pain mounted again in Christina’s face. She squeezed Tibby’s hands so hard, Tibby saw them turning white. She tried her hardest not to flinch. The pressure mounted until Tibby half expected to see her ten severed fingers lying on the mattress.
“That’s good!” Tibby shouted. “I feel it! That’s so great!”
Christina’s eyes were tracking hers now. Tibby felt, on some level, that that was the right thing.
“I need to check her. I think this is happening,” Lauren said to Tibby under her breath. “Help me, okay?”
Tibby did not know what happening meant. She did not want to know what happening meant. She straddled Christina’s legs, so she was practically sitting on her, though carrying her own weight. “Tina, Lauren’s gonna do her thing. Stick with me, okay. With my eyes. Are