Girls in White Dresses - JENNIFER CLOSE [73]
Isabella actually could imagine it and she wondered if she was the only one. Her life, as it was, felt very thin, very transportable. If she were to lose her job, moving back in with her parents might be exactly what she’d do. She wasn’t married to Harrison, and they didn’t have a child. She could just sell her bed and couch and pack up and move home to her parents’ house, easy as pie.
This wasn’t normal, she didn’t think. But was Coco more normal? They were almost the same age and Coco had started a whole other life with babies, and golden retrievers, and picnic baskets. It was a life that felt miles away for Isabella.
Isabella sat cross-legged in front of the baby and started tickling her toes. “This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home …,” she began quietly. Elizabeth’s eyes grew very round and she looked serious. “This little piggy ate roast beef, and this little piggy had none.” Elizabeth was almost completely still, her eyes fixed on Isabella. “And this little piggy went weee weee weee, all the way home!” Isabella finished and tickled the baby up her legs onto her stomach. Elizabeth looked frightened for a moment and then started to laugh and snort.
“You’re so good with her,” Coco said. Isabella was offended that she sounded surprised.
“Isabella has a lot of nieces and nephews,” Harrison said, not unkindly, though it made Isabella feel like an awkward teenager who they were trying to praise and include. She excused herself shortly after and went upstairs to bed. The three of them stayed up late talking and it felt lonely to listen to their voices from another room.
Isabella didn’t sleep well that night and was up and dressed, sitting by her packed bag, before Harrison was even out of the shower. Coco had bagels and muffins and coffee ready, so they sat down to eat, and Isabella was sure that this weekend was never going to end. She sipped her coffee, wanting the good-byes and hugs and promises to visit soon to be over already. Harrison was slow to gather his things and lingered at the table. Isabella thought she might stand up and scream.
Finally they were on their way. Isabella wanted to drive by Boston College, maybe stop in the bookstore to buy a sweatshirt. The car windows were down and the wind blowing in was such perfect fall wind that it made Isabella happy. She put her hand outside and felt the crispness mixed with leftover summer.
“Did you have fun?” Harrison asked her, looking sideways and reaching over to put his hand on her thigh. “I’m sorry if it wasn’t exactly what you wanted to do.”
“Would you ever want to move to Boston?” she asked.
“No,” he said. He looked over at her again. “Why? Is that something you think you want to do?”
She felt immediate relief and shook her head no. She smiled at him.
“It’s a nice place to visit, a great city for college, but I can’t picture living here again,” he said. “It’s like a fake city, you know?”
She laughed a little, thrilled that he’d said just what she was thinking. Isabella had flipped back and forth on Harrison so many times this weekend that she’d lost track of where she was. What did that mean, exactly? She thought it couldn’t be good.
She took his hand and kissed it, then held it in her lap. “It was great,” she said. “Really fun.” He smiled and looked back out at the road.
“That baby’s pretty cute, right?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said, and took back his hand to turn the wheel.
As they pulled up to the campus, Isabella felt the same way she had when she’d returned each fall. Her stomach dropped with excitement and her throat tingled. She started looking around as though she was