Girls in White Dresses - JENNIFER CLOSE [94]
“That’s so mean,” she said. “That is so mean, Harrison.”
“I know.” He hugged her, and when she reached up to wipe her tears away, she touched her greasy hair. It felt like wax. A shower, she decided, wasn’t such a bad idea.
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll take a shower.” She went and stood underneath the hot water with her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes closed. She stood there until there was so much steam in the bathroom that she couldn’t see. Afterward, she put on clean sweatpants and brushed her newly washed hair.
“Don’t you feel better?” Harrison asked.
“Yes,” Isabella said. “I do.” And she did. But she still slept for most of the day. She just hid it from Harrison better than she had before. When his alarm clock went off, she got up and poured herself a cup of coffee and then sat on the couch and watched the Today show. After he kissed her good-bye, she would wait a few minutes before putting the chain lock on the door and getting back into bed. Around five-thirty, she would get up and wash her face and put on clothes. She’d sit in front of her laptop on the couch until he got home.
“Just job searching,” she would say when he got home.
“You look queer,” Isabella said to Harrison when he walked in the door. She had never used that word to describe anyone before, but when she saw him that night, it was the only word that was right. “You look queer,” she said again.
Harrison looked at her out of the sides of his eyes and went to get a beer from the fridge. He opened it and leaned his hands against the counter but still didn’t speak. Isabella began to get scared. He was going to leave her. Or tell her that he was having an affair. Or that he had a baby. He took a sip of his beer and then said, “They’re downsizing my division.”
It took Isabella a moment to realize that he was talking about his job. She had been so ready to hear that he had a secret baby that she was almost relieved. Then she realized what he’d said.
“Wait. Are you being downsized? You, yourself?”
Harrison shrugged. “They aren’t really saying. They’re being really shady about the whole thing. But my boss did pull me into his office to tell me that there are opportunities for me in the Boston office.”
“What does that mean?”
“It sounded like he was telling me that I could work there or be fired.”
“In Boston?”
“In Boston.”
They were both quiet for a couple of minutes. Isabella wasn’t sure where the conversation was going to go next. They weren’t married. It wasn’t automatic that she had to go with him wherever he went. In fact, it was the opposite of automatic, whatever that was.
“So, are you thinking about it?” she asked.
“I guess so. I’m not sure I have a choice.”
“Right,” Isabella said. “I guess you don’t.” Isabella started to cry and Harrison watched her.
“Do you want to go with me?” Harrison asked. It was later, almost the middle of the night. Neither of them was sleeping.
“Go with you where?” Isabella asked.
“Isabella. To Boston.”
“Oh,” Isabella said. “I don’t know. Do you want me to go with you?”
“Yeah, I do. I know it might be unfair to ask, but I do want you to come.”
“Okay,” Isabella said.
“Okay, you’ll go?” Harrison asked.
“No. Just okay.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m not sure. What if you just stayed?”
“I can’t,” Harrison said.
“Well, you could,” Isabella said. “You could do anything you wanted to.”
“I’m not going to, though,” Harrison said. And then they both lay there until it was morning.
“Isabella,” her mom said. “The important thing to do is to stay calm and make a rational decision.”
“You say that like it’s easy,” Isabella said.
“I’m just saying that it’s no help to wallow in your misery. People have ups and downs, but I’m telling you, when the worm turns, you will be stronger for having gone through this.”
“You know,” Isabella said, “I’ve never heard you use that expression before in my life until the last couple of weeks. Not ever.”
“Of course you have. Now you’re just being ridiculous.”
“You’re the one who keeps talking about worms.”