Glasshouse - Charles Stross [118]
“No.” I manage to avoid gritting my teeth. “Not particularly.” The nightmare has caught up, and the well of despair is threatening to swallow me down. They’ve caught me and brought me back to play with me. I feel sick and hot.
“Come now, Reeve.” Unctuous, that’s the word. Fiore plants one plump hand on my forehead, and I realize he feels clammy and cold. “Oh dear. You are in a state.” He removes the hand before I can shake it off, and I shiver. “I can see why they brought you straight here.”
I clamp my teeth shut, waiting for the coup de grâce, but Fiore seems to have something else in mind. “I have to look after the pastoral well-being of all my flock, little lady, so I can’t stay too long with you. You’re obviously ill”—he puts some kind of odd emphasis on the word—“and I’m sure that’s the explanation for your recent erratic behavior. But next time you decide to go climbing in the walls, you should come and talk to me first”—for a moment his expression hardens—“you wouldn’t want to do anything you might regret later.”
Between shivers, I manage to roll my eyes. “I have no regrets.” Why is he playing with me?
“Come now!” Fiore clucks disapprovingly for a moment. “Of course you have regrets! To be human is to be regretful. But we must learn to make the most of what we have to work with, mustn’t we? You’ve been slow to settle in and find your place in our little parish, Reeve, and that’s been causing some concern to those of us who keep an eye on such things. I have—may I be frank?—been worried that you might be an incorrigibly disruptive influence. On the other hand, you obviously mean well, and care for your neighbors—” An unreadable expression flits across his jowls. “So I’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. Rest now, and we’ll continue our little chat later, when you’re feeling better.”
He straightens up in his portly manner and begins to turn away. I shiver again, a chill running up my spine. It’s like he doesn’t know I killed him! I realize. I can see Fiore running multiple instances of himself, but surely they’d be aware of each other, by way of their netlink? Why, doesn’t he—
“You,” I manage to say.
“Yes?”
“You.” It’s hard to form words. I’m really feeling feverish. “What’s the, the . . .”
“I don’t have all day!” His voice rises when he’s irritated, in an annoying whine. He straightens his robe. “Nurse? I say, nurse!” In a quieter voice, to me: “I’ll have them send for your husband. I’m sure you’ll have a lot to talk about.” Then he turns on his heel and bumbles away down the ward toward the other occupied beds.
I realize my teeth are chattering: I’m not sure whether from fever or black helpless rage. I killed you! And you didn’t even notice! Then the nurse comes stomping along in her sensible shoes, clutching some kind of primitive diagnostic instrument, and I realize that I’m feeling extremely unwell.
NURSE Zombie gives me a test that involves sliding a cold glass rod into my ear and staring into my eyes from close range, then she pulls out a jar and gives me what I assume at first is a piece of candy, except that it tastes vile. The hospital is set up to resemble a real dark ages installation, but luckily they seem to draw the line at leeches or heart transplants and similar barbarism. I guess this is some sort of drug, synthesized at great expense and administered to have some random weird systemic effect on my metabolism. “Try to sleep,” Nurse explains to me. “You are ill.”
“C-cold,” I whisper.
“Try to sleep, you are ill.” But Nurse bends down and pulls out a loose-weave blanket. “Drink lots of fluids.” The glass on the table next to me is empty, and in any case, I feel too shivery to pull an arm out from under the blanket. “You are ill.”
No shit. It’s not just my arms and legs—all my joints are screaming at me in chorus with a whole load of muscles I wish I didn’t have right now—but my head’s throbbing and I feel