God Is Red - Liao Yiwu [16]
As time went by, I found it harder and harder to carry my aunt since I only ate breakfast and fasted all day long. I was losing weight. My legs were weak. So we simply stayed overnight on the street. The building guards and the police tried to kick us out. We ignored them. Nobody dared to arrest us. We were two old ladies. I’m sure they felt bad for us.
After a while, people on the street became used to our presence. Some would say hi to us when they passed by. There were no longer any crowds. A couple of children would hang out and play with us. But I think our presence must have reflected very badly on the government, because, on the twenty-eighth day, a senior official with two assistants showed up. He stood there for several minutes, then squatted down next to me, “Are you Zhang Yinxian?” “Yes,” I said. “And this is my aunt, Li Huazhen.” He was a bit sarcastic, and I said, “We don’t mean to make trouble for you. We just need a place to live.” He was puzzled by my answer and said, “You have a place. Isn’t the two-bedroom house big enough for you?” I said quickly, “We are not those childless old people who are on welfare. You can’t just throw us a house and shut us up. We want our church back. We need a proper place to worship the Lord.” He backed down a little bit and said, “Well, we will return the church assets, eventually. It takes time.” I became impatient. “Time? We’ve been waiting thirty-one years. I’m only seventy years old, so I can still wait, but what about my aunt? She is over ninety. She has many health problems. I don’t think she can wait.” The official became upset. He raised his voice: “Who do you think you are? You can’t threaten the government and tell us what to do. We’ve been working hard to make it happen for you, but it takes time. You will have to wait at least three or four years more.” My aunt was listening, half asleep, and now asked me to help her sit up. She said, “If that’s the case, I’m just going to die here, right on the street.” I added, “And so will I; the two of us are ready to die right here, in front of the government building.” The officer responded, “Do whatever you want.” He was angry, and before he left, he turned and railed at me, “Are you threatening the Communist Party?” I said calmly, “All I want is to get the church back. I won’t hold you responsible for our lives.”
Liao: What happened next?
Zhang: A couple of months after that confrontation, we were told we could have our church back—the old chapel, two rows of houses around the chapel, and the two courtyard houses. People in the old section were shocked. They would say, “Those two evil old women. They were so tough. Even the government caved in.” Well, it’s not enough. We’ve only gotten back one quarter of the church assets. The two schools across the street used to be part of the church. That property is as big as three or four football fields. We’ll never get that land back.
Liao: The three of you living in this big place; wasn’t it like a dream come true?
Zhang: The church doesn’t belong to us. We only look after it for the Lord.
Liao: How did you support yourself in those days?
Zhang: By then, the other two were old and sick. I raised pigs and chickens, grew vegetables. We could make ends meet. We were happy. My aunt died in 1989. She was ninety-three. Bishop Liu died in 1990 at the age of ninety. They are buried on Cangshan Mountain. There is a spot next to their graves for me. The day before Bishop Liu passed away, he told me that he wanted to hold a Mass in the church, but he had barely put on his robe before he fell down. I prayed over him, and as he took in his last long breath, his eyes closed. He was smiling. Dusk was approaching. I could feel the angels outside, flying into the setting sun. I felt a gentle breeze.
Now I was alone and felt very sad. I would sometimes catch myself looking for them inside the church,