God Is Red - Liao Yiwu [55]
[Zhang stops talking to rest.]
Li Guizhi: When he was taken away to the labor camp, our eldest daughter was only three months old. She cried all day for food. Eight months later, she died, and I was suffering that loss when my cousin brought me a message: “Your husband is dying of starvation. You’d better go save him.” If he died, I did not think I’d be able to live either. So the next morning, before dawn, I waited outside the village chief’s house. When he woke up, I went in and knelt in front of him, begging that he lend me some grain so I might take some food to my husband. He let me have five kilograms and three yuan for bus fare to reach the camp. There were bodies everywhere. One minute, you saw someone standing in front of the coal-burning kiln; the next minute, you turned around and the person would be lying on the ground, dead. My husband wasn’t at his dorm, so I gave someone there some of the food I had brought with me and asked him to help me look. I found my husband curled up in a pile of rotten grass. I had to call his name several times and shake him before he opened his eyes. He gobbled up some of the food and felt strong enough to stand. Before I left, he hid the rest of the food at a secret place. In the fall of 1959, the camp was disbanded and he returned home. Soon after, he became paralyzed. He had rheumatism. For three months, he couldn’t move. Since he couldn’t go to work in the field, our ration was reduced, and his illness worsened. I begged our village chief again to give us more food. The chief discussed it with the other village officials, and in the end they let us have some wheat, which I made into a gruel mixed with wild vegetables to feed him each day. It was a daily struggle.
One day an herbal doctor passed by our village and heard about my husband’s illness. He had me dig a hole in my backyard and filled it with dried mulberry leaves. Then we burned the leaves and perched my husband on top. The smoke scorched his body for a whole day, from sunrise to sundown. The dampness in his body gradually leaked out. The next day, we filled the hole with dried pine needles and did the same thing. You know what? The remedy actually worked. Soon he could stand up but for only a couple of minutes. Then a friend gave us a bottle of Yunnan White Powder, which was effective against rheumatism. It was very hard to get at that time. Thank the Lord, he finished the meds and gradually recovered. He still can’t do much heavy work in the field but he can move about without problems.
Zhang: I also learned how to survive. When they needed me for public denunciation meetings, I would be there on time. Before they forced me to bend, I did it myself. I survived the “Four Cleanup” and “Socialist Education” campaigns. The most horrible campaign was the Cultural Revolution. I only have one tooth left. The Red Guards knocked out the rest.
Liao: What happened after the Cultural Revolution was over?
Zhang: Before 1982 nobody dared worship publicly. If we were caught, we would have to go through the same public denunciation meetings. Gradually, Christianity spread secretly among villages. In the past couple of years, the policy loosened up and there has been a revival. People flocked to God in droves, village after village. In the old days, people were fervent supporters of Communism. Nobody believes in that now. Even some Communist Party members have come to worship God and confess their sins. Some even donated money to help repair our church. In the past, I have gone through all sorts of sufferings. Each time I was plunged into despair, I prayed and sought guidance from the Lord. I lived through fifty years of suffering.
Throughout my whole life, I passed four tests. The first one came when I was eight. I was herding goats on a warm autumn day and fell asleep. When I woke up, all the goats had run away. Worrying that my father would scold me, I burst out wailing and attracted two wolves, which stood right behind me, ready to snatch me away. I didn’t realize they were behind me. I just kept crying. Wolves