Gold Mountain Blues - Ling Zhang [179]
After this, Ah-Fat aged rapidly. It showed not in his face or his body but in his eyes. He had been a keen-eyed man with a sharp, crystalline gaze. Now his eyes were clouded, as if grains of sand had been dropped into them. Whenever Kam Ho went home to see his father, he would find him sitting alone in a room shrouded in smoke, a cigarette dangling from his lips. He was living on his own, and on the days when he could not be bothered to cook for himself, he got by on a mug of tea and a dry biscuit.
“Go home,” said Kam Ho. “Go back to Hoi Ping and live with Mum. Mum’ll feed you with good food.” Ah-Fat shook his head vigorously. “I can only go when I’ve made money. Otherwise they’ll say I’ve come home as a beggar.” “Who would dare accuse you of being a beggar?” protested Kam Ho. “Look at all the property our family owns. Besides, I’ll send you dollar letters every month and you can smoke all the tobacco you want.”
Ah-Fat looked at his son and tears welled up in his eyes.
“I sent you out to work the minute you got off the boat. I never gave you the chance of an education. Your brother never wanted to study but you’ve had to work too hard to study. If only you had, you would understand how things work here and you could have kept all these people from hounding me.”
Ah-Fat did not want to go back to Hoi Ping in the state he was in now.
He sold the only thing he still possessed—the house he had lived in for over a decade—and moved back to Vancouver. When he left the place that had caused him so much trouble, he was only a few months short of his sixtieth birthday.
Ah-Fat did not get a lot for the house in New Westminster and could only afford a very small house in Vancouver. He did his best to find work. But his cooking skills were limited and he could not work in a kitchen. He asked in laundries but as his sight was failing, he could not do the mending or ironing. He got a job in a general store, helping to unload goods but sprained his back on the first day. In the end the only thing he could do was turn his own house into a little shop and set up in business writing letters, Spring Festival couplets, marriage announcements and purchasing contracts. However, demand for his services was negligible because, unlike in the old days, there were plenty of young people around who could read and write for themselves.
Ah-Fat realized to his consternation that at the age of sixty, he was completely useless. He could not even support himself.
One day Kam Ho said to him: “Get Kam Shan to come back and live with you, Dad.” It was all so long ago since Kam Shan had run off with the girl prostitute and the Spring Gardens brothel had been closed for many years. There would not be any trouble if he came back to Vancouver. Kam Ho had made this suggestion before and his father had always been set against it. This time, however, he said nothing. Kam Ho took his silence as agreement.
Kam Ho knew why his father had given in: Kam Shan’s woman was going to have a baby. This was her first. Her former profession had damaged her health and for years she was unable to conceive. Ah-Fat was getting on in years and longed to hold a grandchild in his arms, so his heart finally softened.