Gold Mountain Blues - Ling Zhang [242]
Kam Shan said nothing. His hand trembled like a leaf. Cat Eyes remembered the old saying about a son in old age being the greatest happiness, and stroked the back of Kam Shan’s hand: “When Yin Ling comes back home, then the family will be complete,” she said.
Kam Shan tossed and turned all night but could not sleep. When he got up in the morning, he saw his reflection in the window, and was astonished to see that his thatch of hair had turned grey overnight.
Cat Eyes’ shift started at midday. She was in the car and had just started the engine when Kam Shan ran out and rapped on the window. She wound down the window and could not help smiling at the sight of Kam Shan wearing a hat pulled down tightly over his ears. “You’re not going out wearing a funny-looking thing like that, are you?” she said. Kam Shan stared at her but said nothing. Cat Eyes was about to drive off when Kam Shan blurted out: “Your next Monday off, can you not go out?”
Cat Eyes had heard this kind of comment for years and years, and went in one ear and out the other. Still, this time, although the words were the same, he seemed to be saying something different. Her heart softened. “Do you want me to stay with you, is that it?” Kam Shan nodded. “And I’d like to take you to the fish and chips restaurant next to the Vancouver Hotel.” Cat Eyes laughed. “Did you just trip over a bundle of dollar bills? Folks like us can’t afford that kind of a place!” “I’ve got money,” said Kam Shan. He wanted to go on. “And I’ve got something to say to you.…” but Cat Eyes had already roared off down the road.
They never ate that meal together, because before Cat Eyes had her next day off, she miscarried.
She began to hemorrhage in the Lychee Garden Restaurant and lost consciousness. They took her to the hospital. She was only five months pregnant and the baby did not survive.
It was a boy.
When Kam Shan heard the news, he squatted on the floor and burst into floods of tears. Ah-Fat had never seen his son cry in his life. If he kept it up, Ah-Fat thought, he would cry the heavens into bits and the earth into a bottomless pit. But Ah-Fat felt that it was not wholly grief that moved his son; it was also as if a great burden had been lifted from his shoulders.
The next day, Kam Shan took himself off somewhere where he could be alone and burned a sheet of paper he had kept hidden in his pocket.
It was a deed of contract.
It read as follows:
I, Fong Kam Shan, of Spur-On Village, Hoi Ping County, Guangdong Province, China, now resident in Vancouver, British Columbia, together with my wife, Mrs. Chow, agree to sell the baby which Mrs. Chow is carrying, whether it is a girl or a boy, to Mr. and Mrs. Tseng Yiu Nam of Toi Shan, for the sum of seventy dollars, this sum to be donated to the anti-Japanese war effort fund in its entirety. This document is a permanent record of this agreement.
Third day of the eighth month of year thirty of the Republic
Up till now, Ah-Fat had never thought of himself as old.
His hair had gone grey long ago and his eyes had deteriorated, but if he wore his glasses, he could still read books and newspapers. He had lost a few teeth but was still capable of chewing his rice and peanuts. His knees were a bit crooked but could carry him along the road on his walks well enough. True, his hand shook when he held his writing brush, but he could still form the characters if he wanted to write. They all said he was an old man—Kam Shan, Kam Ho, Cat Eyes, Gold Mountain Cloud—and he accepted their comments with a smile. But although he could not be bothered to argue, in his heart of hearts he was not convinced. What other people said did not count. The only thing that counted was what he felt in himself.
When he came back from seeing Rick Henderson, he was not so sure.
Since Kam Ho had left the Hendersons, Ah-Fat had not been back to see Rick. Time went by, and one day he found himself on the street where the Hendersons lived. As he drew closer, he saw a For