Golden Lies - Barbara Freethy [114]
Victoria was still reeling from his suggestion that they get a divorce; she could barely keep up with what he was saying, the words pouring from his heart. The dam had burst and twenty years' worth of feelings were rushing out in a wild torrent of emotion. She was feeling it, too, more than she wanted. All those old feelings of young love were coming back. She'd told herself for so many years that she hated David, but she'd never really told herself why. Now she wasn't sure she could remember why. She just knew how badly he had hurt her, and she supposed she had hurt him, too. She'd known that he didn't get along with his father, but she hadn't realized that it stemmed from the accident in which David had survived and his sister and mother had perished. Why hadn't she put those facts together?
Everything made so much more sense—even to some extent the affair that he had had. Deep down in the honest part of herself, she knew she had turned away from him. She'd been overcome with sadness, depression and pain; she just hadn't wanted to feel anything else.
"I don't expect you to forgive me," David said wearily. "I'm too old to start over, to change, to make things better. I'm too damn old."
Now here was one good reason why she had grown to dislike him so. "You're such a quitter, David. Why don't you ever fight for the things you want? Why didn't you fight for your father's attention, for my attention? Why didn't you fight Jasmine so you could see your own daughter? Why do you always give up, take the easy way out?"
"Because I never win, even when I try."
"I don't think you try. You blame yourself the way you expect others to blame you. I think you're the one who feels bad for surviving all the tragedies."
"You've been in therapy too long, Vicky."
"I have been in therapy too long," she agreed. "I realize now I wasn't the one who needed it. It was you, always you." She got up from the bed. "Here's the bottom line, David. If you want a divorce, you're going to have to fight like hell to get it. Maybe it's time you found out what you're made of. Maybe it's time you gave me a chance to see if you're worthy of my affection."
He uttered a short, bitter-edged laugh. "Goddamn, Vicky. Do you know how crazy you are? You're saying the only way you'll love me again is if I can beat you, if I can make you divorce me."
"I need an equal, not a doormat. It's your call. Frankly, I don't think you have it in you to do anything more than run back to China and lick your wounds in private. I fully expect things to go on exactly the way they've gone for the last twenty years at least."
"We'll see about that."
"Yes, we will."
Chapter Twenty-One
"I cannot believe you want to sneak into my parents' house and search the cupboards and closets for a dragon statue," Paige said. "This is your worst idea yet."
"You didn't have a better one," Riley replied as he settled himself more comfortably in the driver's seat of his car. "Mr. Fong told us to look for the connections, and we both agree that your grandfather is one of those links."
That was true, she silently conceded. She'd been thinking about their grandfathers' connections ever since she'd left Mr. Fong's apartment, but she hadn't had time to do anything about it, having spent most of the day helping her mother get her father settled back home. "Did you talk to your grandmother again?" she asked.
"No. Not yet," Riley said.
She stared down the dark shadowy street. Riley had parked several mansions down from the one she'd grown up in, and she couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that they were heading into trouble. But they weren't really breaking in anywhere. They were just going to take a look through the family home while her mother and grandmother