Golden Lies - Barbara Freethy [59]
They'd spent several years living in a small, cramped apartment with two other families they referred to as uncles, aunties, and cousins. In truth there was no blood between them, just a friendship borne of being strangers in a strange land. Eventually, her grandparents had managed to get their own apartment, where they'd raised five American-born Chinese children. But while those children, her mother Jasmine included, grew up American, her grandparents still held tight to their traditions and superstitions.
Her grandmother, An-Mei, was a strong-willed woman who had worked hard to help support the family, shelling shrimp, sewing in sweatshops, and making fortune cookies for tourists. She had done it all while her husband, Lee, cooked herbs in the kitchen and eventually opened an herb shop on a narrow street in Chinatown, which they still ran together.
Alyssa had heard the many stories of their struggles to survive in America, and she admired the strength and courage it must have taken for her grandparents to start over in a new country. But she didn't admire the way they treated her mother and herself as outcasts who had dishonored the family name. Her mother was the true culprit, but by virtue of her illegitimate birth, Alyssa was considered a mark of shame as well, at least by her grandmother, who had told her many times that she would have to work hard to overcome her birth, that she would have to prove to the gods that she was worthy. Worthy of what, Alyssa wasn't quite sure, but she hadn't dared to ask.
Questions were never welcome in her family, not with her mother, not with her grandparents, not with anyone. So why had she come back to the old neighborhood with even more questions? Who did she think would answer them?
Part of her wanted to turn and run back across town to the small apartment she shared with three of her college friends, who didn't worry about old secrets, who were only concerned about getting ahead, meeting nice guys to marry, living their lives the way they wanted to live them. But she still had to worry about her mother. It was for her mother's sake that she had come here. Perhaps her grandparents would speak to her more freely than they would to Jasmine.
A cluster of men sat on the stairs, playing cards. She hurried past them, past the chess tables where more old guys turned to stare at her. The top level of Portsmouth Square was a male bastion of gambling and other vices she didn't want to consider. She remembered once walking alone through the square late at night and having men come up to her asking if she wanted a date. She'd been so frightened by those groping hands, those leering voices that she'd avoided the square for years. Even now she felt uneasy.
But it was daytime and no one bothered her. She paused, seeing a familiar stooped figure bending over a bench where several men were playing Mahjong. It was her grandfather, Lee Chen. She hesitated, then approached the group, careful not to disturb anyone during the play. Her grandfather must have sensed her presence, for finally he turned and looked at her. He broke away from the group and walked over to join her. He was a short, square man; at one time, he had been a gymnast, but that had been a very long time ago. Now he was thin and frail and occasionally seemed confused by his very existence. Since he had turned seventy-nine years old on his last birthday, she supposed some confusion was understandable. She smiled as he put a hand to his head to pat down the few loose-flying strands of hair he had left. His face was square, plain, his eyes somewhat hidden by the old-fashioned black-rimmed eyeglasses he wore. But he had a smile on that face, a cautious smile, as if he wasn't sure he should give her one.
"Alyssa, what are you doing down here?" he asked.
"I'm on my way to the shop. I need some herbs."
"You are too thin. Must eat more. You come for New Year's. An-Mei fatten you up."
"You know Grandmother won't let us come for New Year's. It's a sacred holiday. We have too many sins, we taint the New Year