Golden Lies - Barbara Freethy [79]
"You can't run away from who you are, Alyssa."
"My God, Ben, you think I don't know that? I've spent half my life wishing I could wake up in a different body and be someone else."
"You shouldn't feel that way. I hate that your family made you think you were unworthy. It was wrong."
"Well, I don't think they'll agree with you. But it doesn't matter anymore. I have a good life away from here. And I'm never coming back."
"I know," he said softly, meeting her gaze. "I figured out a long time ago that you probably hated Chinatown more than me, but it was easier to get rid of us both."
His words reminded her of how much there was between them. "Maybe this wasn't a good idea," she said.
"I want you to stay for dinner."
"I don't want to discuss the past, Ben. There's no point. We broke up a long time ago."
"You broke up with me."
"You would have done it eventually, if I hadn't. We want different things out of life."
"We used to want each other," he reminded her. "I don't think that desire is gone. I felt it the moment you walked into my office this afternoon."
She swallowed hard at the look in his eyes. "Ben, I only came here to discuss the dragon. If that's not going to happen, I should leave."
"It will happen. I made you a promise, and I'll keep it. As for the rest, we'll see how it goes. Now stay here, drink your wine, and let me show you what a good cook I am. I've got some appetizers you will love."
And if she stayed too long, she'd fall in love with more than his appetizers. He was right. The desire was still there, maybe even stronger than before. When had he become so good-looking, so grown-up, so manly? Why was she feeling such a strong attraction to him? They should have felt comfortable around each other, like two old shoes, not tense and nervous and on edge. She picked up her glass of wine and took a long sip, willing herself to relax. This was just Ben. This was just dinner. Nothing was going to happen.
"So, what have you been doing with your life?" Alyssa asked a while later as they finished the incredible dinner Ben had prepared. She was feeling calmer now that she had a full stomach. She rested her arms on the dining room table and smiled at him. "Are you happy writing only for the Chinese audience? Is that enough for you?"
"Probably not," he said, surprising her.
"Really?"
"You're not the only one with ambition, Alyssa. I'd like to work for one of the bigger metropolitan newspapers, or maybe an arts magazine "
"That might mean moving away from Chinatown."
"It's not a ball and chain around my leg. I could leave—if I had a good reason." He paused. "I like your hair. I'm glad you left it long."
"It's too thin and too straight."
"It's perfect. You're perfect."
"I'm not," she said with a shake of her head.
"I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."
Alyssa got to her feet, suddenly restless under his intense gaze. She walked over to a desk that held a computer and more books. "What's all this?"
"Research on your dragon." He came up behind her. "I found out that the set I told you about was discovered in an archaeological dig in southern China in the early 1900s. The pieces were sent to China's National Palace Museum, but at some point they were lost."
"From a museum? That sounds odd."
"There was a lot of turmoil and war in China. Many artifacts were lost."
"My mother only saw one dragon. She didn't see a box or another dragon."
"It's not surprising that the pieces have been separated. It would probably be more shocking if they were still together."
"True." She picked up a pile of newspaper clippings. "What are these?"
"I'm doing a story on the Chinese New Year celebrations in San Francisco, a composite look at the traditions. My cousin Fae is going to be Miss Chinatown this year."
"That's great. She must be excited."
"She is, because she's the third generation." He flipped through the photos on the desk. "Here's the one of her mother getting crowned, and here's the one of her grandmother."