Good Drinks for Bad Days - Kerry Colburn [2]
Good Drink: B-52
½ ounce Kahlúa
½ ounce Baileys or other Irish cream liqueur
½ ounce Grand Marnier
Slowly pour the Kahlúa, Baileys, and Grand Marnier, in that order, into a chilled glass. Sip while creatively embellishing your resumé.
Bad Day: Heinous meeting
When it’s 3 p.m., your blood sugar is dangerously low, and quitting time seems oh-so-far away, there’s nothing worse than a truly excruciating meeting. Whether it’s a painful PowerPoint presentation, a bunch of senseless squabbling, or just an unbelievably boring agenda, you can doodle, zone out, and envision the perfect cocktail that will be yours as soon as this nightmare ends. (By the way, this drink is also known as the Hemingway . . . do you think that guy ever had to sit for two hours in a stuffy conference room?)
Good Drink: Death in the Afternoon
½ ounce Pernod
5 ounces chilled champagne
Pour the Pernod into a chilled champagne flute. Swirl it to coat the inside of the glass, and slowly top with champagne.
From Bad to Worse: Meeting goes into overtime and the boss calls for an adjournment until Saturday? Go big and use absinthe in place of Pernod—you won’t even know you were there.
Bad Day: Humiliated self at office party
There’s something about office parties that makes people go a little crazy. Perhaps you drank a wee bit too much, told your boss how you really feel about a new policy, or found yourself in a compromising position in the supply closet. Maybe you showed off some dance moves and karaoke stylings that really should have been left in the privacy of your own bedroom. Regardless, people are probably talking. Call in sick today and ease your pain with a drink that will help you forget it ever happened . . . in a couple of days, they will too.
Good Drink: Mind Eraser
½ ounce Kahlúa
1½ ounces vodka
3 ounces club soda
Pour the Kahlúa into an ice-filled glass. Gently float the vodka on top, then slowly top with club soda. Don’t stir. Think happy thoughts and practice saying, “Party? What party?”
From Bad to Worse: Leave incriminating evidence in the copy machine? Add a shot of Grand Marnier.
Bad Day: Got fired
When you get fired, you’ve just gotta light something on fire. And while you might be tempted to torch your desk, your files, your boss’s car, or your business suit, it’s much more therapeutic—and enjoyable, not to mention legal—to set a drink on fire. Burn, baby, burn!
Good Drink: Flaming Diablo
1 ounce Cognac
½ ounce Cointreau
2 whole cloves
1 long strip of lemon peel
1 long strip of orange peel
6 ounces hot coffee
In a saucepan over medium heat, combine the Cognac, Cointreau, cloves, lemon peel, and orange peel. Pour the coffee into a heat-resistant mug and set aside. As bubbles form along the edge of the pan, stand back and use a long-handled match to ignite the booze, using extreme caution (never add more alcohol once the concoction is aflame). Pour the flaming mixture into the coffee mug while saying a curse on those bastards who wronged you.
Bad Day: Annoying coworker got the promotion
So much for “may the better man win.” The truth is, sometimes the most irritating, idea-stealing, brown-nosing, longlunch-taking man or woman wins—and it’s painful to watch. If it’s a promotion that really should’ve gone to you, that really stings. Ouch!
Good Drink: Stinger
1½ ounces brandy
1½ ounces white crème de menthe
Stir the brandy and crème de menthe with ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass, or shake and pour into an ice-filled old-fashioned glass.
From Bad to Worse: Now you have to report to this moron? Make it a White Spider Stinger: a hearty 2 ounces of vodka plus ¾ ounce of either white crème de menthe or peppermint schnapps, prepped the same way.
Bad Day: New job blues
It’s never quite what they promise you, is it? Sometimes what seems to be a fab new job on paper leaves a little to be desired—especially during those first few days. Your phone isn’t hooked