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Stir the whiskey, vermouth, and bitters with ice. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with the cherry.

From Bad to Worse: Building is going co-op? Replace the maraschino cherry with seven brandied cherries, then start planning the blowout party you’re going to have at your pad before moving somewhere better.

Bad Day: Household disaster

The toilet’s backed up. The washer overflowed. The IKEA furniture you spent all day putting together is missing three essential pieces. And although you’re sure you own a toolbox, you have no idea where it is. Chances are, on a day like this, no one is answering your call for help . . . so sit back and survey the damage with a delicious drink that’s hard to screw up.

Good Drink: Rusty Nail

1½ ounces Scotch

1 ounce Drambuie

Lemon twist for garnish

Pour the Scotch and Drambuie into an ice-filled old-fashioned glass and stir. Twist the lemon over the drink and drop it in.

Bad Day: Cable on the fritz

Chances are, it’s happened on the day of the big game, a movie marathon you’ve been waiting for, or the season premiere of your favorite show—leaving you staring helplessly at a screen full of fuzz. Did you forget to pay the bill? Did someone figure out you’ve been getting cable for free? Is someone playing a terrible joke on you? And does a live body ever answer when you call the cable company? Ponder these burning questions over a couple of these elaborate cocktails, and even the static might start to look interesting. (Don’t let the number of ingredients put you off—you’ve got nothing to do anyway!)

Good Drink: Zombie

1 ounce light rum

1 ounce gold rum

1 ounce dark rum

½ ounce apricot brandy

1 ounce crème de banana

1 ounce pineapple juice

1 ounce fresh lemon juice

1 ounce fresh lime juice

¼ ounce grenadine

1 tablespoon brown sugar

½ ounce 151-proof rum

Pineapple wedge, lime wheel, and cherry for garnish

Shake the light rum, gold rum, dark rum, brandy, crème de banana, pineapple juice, lemon juice, lime juice, grenadine, and brown sugar with ice and strain into an ice-filled highball glass. Float the 151-proof rum on top. Garnish with the fruit.

Bad Day: Cleaning day

Whether it’s a once-a-year spring cleaning, a mountain of laundry that can no longer be ignored, or a top-to-bottom scrubbing because of a possible overnight guest (or all three!), it’s hard to get psyched up for cleaning. What’s the right way to get motivated? Tackle the dirty work with a similarly filthy little cocktail.

Good Drink: Dirty Martini

2 ounces gin

½ ounce extra-dry vermouth

½ ounce brine from cocktail olives

Green cocktail olive for garnish

Stir the gin, vermouth, and brine in a mixing glass with ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass (a dirty one will do). Garnish with the olive.

Bad Day: Cranky relatives staying with you

They demand breakfast. They insist on watching their TV shows. They even want your bed! Whether it’s your parents, your crazy sister, or your out-of-work uncle, sharing your pad with annoying relatives is the worst. It cramps your style, makes you eager to be at the office, and may even make you wish you were an orphan. Time to break out a potent painkiller.

Good Drink: Quaalude

1 ounce vodka

1 ounce hazelnut liqueur

1 ounce coffee liqueur

1 splash milk

Pour the vodka, hazelnut liqueur, coffee liqueur, and milk into an old-fashioned glass filled with ice, and serve—to yourself, not your guests!

From Bad to Worse: Are you sleeping on the couch, uncomfortable sofa bed, or air mattress? Add a shot of Baileys in place of the milk.

Bad Day: Moving day

You’re surrounded by bubble wrap, old newspaper, and not nearly enough boxes—and, of course, your friends who promised to help are nowhere in sight. How are you going to lift all this stuff? Where’s the tape gun buried? Did you pack all the pens you own? Hopefully, in the midst of this chaos, you can dig up at least one glass, coffee mug, or water bottle to mix this drink in—because what you need right now, my friend,