Growing Up Bin Laden - Jean P. Sasson [109]
The younger soldiers were distinctly different, their eagerness to kill and be killed so acute they swaggered with determination through the camps, warriors in the making. But when one looked closer, the quality of their characters appeared questionable. Many seemed to be running away from problems in their home countries. Some had fled to avoid being punished for violent crimes; for example, one of the younger soldiers bragged about slitting his own brother’s throat when he discovered that brother having premarital sex. Others had lived in such severe poverty that they had only eaten meat a few times in their lives. Most could not afford to marry. Since Middle Eastern society promotes young marriage and many children, these men felt themselves failures at the achievements their culture held dear. Many were so miserable they felt they were living in hell on earth, and were easily swayed by the Jihadi message to seek death so that they might soon be transported into paradise.
I felt sorry for those young men. I knew they believed death to be a great reward, yet I never felt the urge to die; in fact, I did everything I could to stay alive. Though my own life was unhappy, I wanted to live and to pursue God’s blessing of life on earth.
One day, while sitting on the edge of the ledge of Tora Bora Mountain and feeling particularly dismayed by my situation, my spirits were instantly lifted when my father announced that my mother and siblings were leaving Khartoum the following morning.
I jumped to my feet, knowing that soon I would see my mother’s sweet face.
He said, “I will stay here in Tora Bora. They will be taken to the palace in Jalalabad. The following morning after their safe arrival, you will go there and stay for a few days before arranging transportation with my men to bring them all here.”
So, he was set on his plan of making the women and children live the mountain life. Although concerned about what my mother’s daily existence was about to become, I was still excited because I had not seen my dear mother in nearly four months. I wanted to shout with glee across the mountain range, but I muffled my excitement because my father did not approve of emotional displays.
Two days later when Shear drove me away from our bin Laden Mountain, I turned back to see my father staring at my departure. Set against the backdrop of those bleak stone mountains, he appeared an aging, lonely figure. For the first time in my life I realized that he was of the past, and I was of the future. I felt myself a man.
Chapter 17
A Far, Far Country
NAJWA BIN LADEN
In Khartoum we waited in uneasy suspense for four long months, left on our own to wonder what was going to happen to us. Perhaps I was melancholy because soon after Osama had left me I had discovered that I was pregnant for the tenth time. My husband did not even know. We had not spoken since he left. And, without Osama around, I was unable to leave the interior of my home even once during those four months. Our family driver organized provisions for the women and children.
My husband had taken long absences all through our married life, yet this time was different. I felt a slight shift, as though as I was being forewarned, something comparable to the alarm raised by frantic animals as a speeding tsunami moves quietly under the tranquil sea. My instinct warned me that our lives were changing, and not for the good. Even my smallest children, Iman and Ladin, became sad and listless.
Omar had never been away before,