Gun Games - Faye Kellerman [83]
“But why would you do that if you truly loved the girl.” She was wounded.
Gabe stroked her face. “I would never hurt you. But how committed can we be to each other when we’re sneaking around? You can’t even tell your parents about us.”
“Do you want me to tell my parents?”
“No. Because they’d forbid you to see me. This way, at least we can pretend it’s really okay. Plus we’re kinda young. I mean maybe this will be forever, but we both know that we’ve got a lot of things working against us. Which is why that even though it would the most special thing for me, I don’t think it’s the right time to do it.”
A tear ran down her cheek. “You do it with other girls that you don’t like, but you won’t do it with me?”
“Of course, I’d do it with you. I’m dying to do it with you. I’m trying to be . . . considerate of your position. Don’t you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yes. I’m not stupid.”
“I’m not saying you’re stupid.” He blew out air. “Maybe I should go.”
Her eyes moistened. “All I’m saying is that I’d do it for you, because I love you.”
“I know.” He softened. “And I love you for it.”
“Even if it wouldn’t be your first time.”
“What do you want, Yasmine? If I had known the future, I’d take back my virginity in a heartbeat.” He exhaled. “You know, three girls doesn’t exactly make me a stud.”
She turned to him. “I think you’re the biggest stud in the whole wide world.”
Gabe laughed. “You are such a cuckoo bird!”
“What were you thinking before . . . that you won’t tell me? Please. I want to know.”
Gabe sighed. “This is a mistake.” She waited. “When you said it wouldn’t be my first time . . . my first thought was that it wouldn’t be my first time . . . but . . . it would be your first time and that would be exciting for me.” He gave her a tight smile. “Happy?”
She leaned her head on his shoulder. “And that would be special for you?”
“Yasmine, you’d be special whether or not you’re a virgin, okay. I love you, okay.”
“But that would be special . . . that it would be my first time.”
He paused. “I must admit that the thought was arousing, that I’d be your first. And you’d always remember me because of that.”
“So you really do want to do it with me?”
“Oh my God!” He slapped his hand on his head. “Yes, I want to do it with you. But it’s a very big step, Yasmine. Once you do it, you can’t take it back.”
She was quiet.
Gabe said, “We’re not gonna do it tonight. You’re sick, you’ve got your period, and I’m not prepared anyway.” He kissed her cheek. “I don’t have protection. So let’s forget about it, okay.”
“Okay.”
Gabe let out a small laugh. “I think . . . I just shot myself in the foot.”
Yasmine smiled. “Maybe.”
“See how much I love you? I come over not expecting anything except your company and I turn down sex. Could you ask for a better boyfriend?”
“I love the sound of that . . . that you’re my boyfriend.”
“I hope I’m your boyfriend. I’ve never had a girlfriend. Will you be my girlfriend?”
She sniffed. “Yes, I will be your girlfriend.” She blew her nose. “I love you, Gabriel. I love you and would do anything for you.”
“I love you, too.” He meant it in a way she could never understand. Intellectually, he knew that there were people out there to whom he mattered, but the knowledge did little to ease his profound loneliness. Until she stepped into his life, he’d been swirling around in very dark thoughts, a step away from a black hole of nothingness. His eyes hooked onto hers. “I’d do anything for you, Yasmine. I’d even die for you.”
Her eyes searched his face for clues to his ghoulish mood. He was often hard to read. She knew he didn’t like talking about his past, and it had been wrong for her to probe. “Gabe, what prompted you to even think that?”
Gabe took her hand. “Just that . . . you mean so much to me. I want you to know that it isn’t just sex.” He broke into a slow grin. “Although