Half Moon Investigations - Eoin Colfer [21]
‘And you think the minidisc was stolen?’
Mercedes shrugged. ‘Maybe. But who would steal a minidisc out of a player and leave the player?’
‘Who can fathom the workings of the criminal mind?’ I said, trying to sound intelligent.
‘Well, you, I hope,’ said April. ‘That is what I’m paying you for. You do have a badge, or so you keep saying.’
‘Was there any sign of a break-in?’ I asked Mercedes hurriedly.
‘No,’ she replied. ‘But I left my bedroom window open last night. So whoever it was, if there was someone, could have just reached in. Maybe you could swab everyone in the town for DNA.’
‘Like in CSI?’ I said wearily.
‘Yes. Just like that.’
‘I’ll see if the police lab will loan me their equipment.’
Mercedes stepped out of line and reached up to punch me on the shoulder. ‘Hey, I know sarcasm when I hear it. Watch it, Half Moon, or when I get a boyfriend, I’ll send him round to your house.’
I ignored the ache in my shoulder, checking the list of questions in my notebook. ‘One more thing, ladies. This is for all of you. Can you think of anyone who might have a reason to dislike you?’
‘No,’ said April immediately. ‘Who could dislike us? We’re popular. You should try it some time, Half Moon.’
I let her insults run off me. I was a professional.
‘Well?’ I said to Mercedes.
She bit her lip. ‘Herod asked me to a disco once and April told me to say no. We wrote a little note saying how we would never be caught dead hanging out with a Sharkey. Herod had to get Red to read the note for him. Red got all upset about it. Maybe he took the disc as revenge, like in that story about that prince…’
‘Hamlet?’ I suggested.
‘No,’ said Mercedes, thinking. ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. One time, Will took Carlton’s jacket and Carlton decided to –’
April screamed, waving her little fists. ‘Attention, please! It’s Red. We all know it’s Red. Why are you wasting time with these stupid questions, Half Moon? Red took the hair and he probably took Mercedes’s stupid minidisc, which by the way she was not supposed to mention. Stop hanging around here and go find some proof.’
I was beginning to wonder if ten euro was a high enough fee considering all the abuse I was getting, but as Bernstein said: You don’t have to like jour employers, jou just have to like their money.
‘Red is my prime suspect,’ I admitted. ‘But then everyone is a suspect until my investigation eliminates them.’
‘That’s great,’ said Mercedes, clapping her hands. ‘Suspects. It’s almost as if someone was murdered.’
May had wandered away from the group. She returned now, pocketing her mobile phone.
‘I like Red,’ she said in a quiet voice. ‘I don’t think it’s fair, blaming everything on him.’
May’s face was flushed and she toyed nervously with her hair. My detective’s intuition hit me in the gut like a wrecking ball.
‘You told Red he was a suspect.’
May nodded. ‘He’s on his way over. I just texted him a warning, because he’s nice. I didn’t think he’d come over.’
I thought back to my years studying for the Bob Bernstein shield. The recommended course of action in all situations was to avoid confrontation. Avoiding confrontation was an excellent way to keep your blood in your veins and your bones in one piece.
‘Thanks, May,’ I said, being sarcastic obviously. ‘You’ve been a real help.’
May smiled guiltily. ‘Sorry, Fletcher. You’re nice, but so is Red. Pity you’re on different sides.’
‘I hate to spoil the fun,’ I said, pocketing my notebook, ‘but I have some incident reports to chart.’
April pointed over my shoulder. ‘Too late.’
I turned towards the sports field. One lanky redhead was running at speed directly for us.
I felt my throat go dry. ‘He was playing hurling,’ I said, my throat clicking as I talked. ‘How fortunate.’
‘I didn’t know that,’ said May. ‘Honestly.’
Hurling is the Irish sporting version of pitched battle. The hurl, or bat, resembles an executioner’s axe without the blade and serves roughly the same purpose.