Half Moon Investigations - Eoin Colfer [9]
‘Charge?’
April pulled a ten-euro note from her pocket.
‘For detective work. Like the organizer.’
‘I suppose ten would be fair for today. I did put myself at considerable risk.’
April laughed. ‘Are you serious, Half Moon? I didn’t hire you for that. You were soooo lucky with that biscuit tin, by the way. A pedicure is thirty euro, so you’d be, like, a third that important. So I’ll give you this ten for a retainer. If you take it, then you work for me.’
I didn’t ignore the note, but I didn’t grab it either. I wasn’t really used to dealing with girls, unless I was questioning them about missing pencil cases or asking some of the rougher ones to give me back my lunch box.
‘A retainer? To investigate what?’
April stood, flicking her hair over one shoulder. With her pink puffa jacket on, she looked like a marshmallow.
‘It’s more Sharkey trouble, I’m afraid. Not just the little stinky one. The whole family.’
I patted the pocket where my shield used to be. Red Sharkey was involved. I had already decided to investigate the Sharkeys; this could be a way to make a few euro while I was about it. Do a bit of snooping around for April and dig up some dirt on Red. Who knows, I may even catch him red-handed with my shield. A couple of surveillance photos later, and the long arm of the law would be getting a lot shorter for Red.
‘OK,’ I said. ‘Tell me all about this case.’
April had pulled out a compact mirror and was checking her reflection.
‘Bonjour,’ she said to herself in the mirror. ‘How are you? You look great. Have you lost weight?’
I cleared my throat. ‘Hello, April. The case?’
April snapped the mirror closed.
‘Sorry, Half Moon. I was just taking a moment to boost my self-esteem. I saw that on the Mental Health channel. The case. Well, I thought it was crazy at first, but there is definitely something strange going on in Lock.’
Suddenly the door light flashed green.
‘Enter,’ shrilled the principal’s voice through the door.
‘I’d better go in,’ I said, struggling out of the baby chair.
April caught my sleeve. ‘Come round to my house. After dinner.’
Another shout from inside. Louder this time.
‘I’ll be there,’ I said, reaching for the door handle. ‘About seven.’
‘’K,’ said April. ‘But don’t spread it around. We’re not, like, on the same level. I don’t want people to think we’re having a rendezvous or anything. You work for me, like a maid or something. A nerdy maid.’
I kept a straight face. Disrespect was a detective’s lot. Still, April was exceptionally obnoxious. I was used to insults from my own age group, but April was only ten, and at least ten centimetres shorter than me. And if you’re ten centimetres shorter than me, you’re short.
See you then, I thought, and entered the principal’s office smiling grimly. The shield would be mine again, even if I had to suffer April Devereux to get it.
Mrs Quinn was moored behind an undersized desk from the infant corridor. The desk was swamped with report cards and official forms, and somewhere beneath the cables of her knitted cardigan a phone rang. The principal ignored it.
The two Dobermanns, Larry and Adam, stood at the principal’s shoulders. Without their muzzles on, it was clear that they actually were grinning.
I remembered why I was there and stopped smiling.
‘Well, little Fletcher Moon,’ said Mrs Quinn delightedly. ‘What a nice surprise.’ Then she remembered why I was there, and her expression turned hard. The dogs stopped smiling too. Spittle hung in strings from their jaws.
Principals are able to switch moods in seconds. They would make excellent schizophrenics. ‘Do you have anything to say for yourself? Any extenuating circumstances perhaps?’
I shook my head. Getting someone else involved would be social suicide. ‘No. I just forgot where I was walking.’
Mrs Quinn pointed to a small moulded plastic chair in front of her desk. ‘Every day we lose another one. Sit.’
I sat. Another baby chair. My knees collided with my chin, clicking my teeth together.
Mrs Quinn pulled a huge ledger from a drawer. It was covered with patterned