• Choose a category
• All
• Classic-Fiction

By Root 134 0

supposed to pick up the fork in the lettuce bowl and take one leaf up, let it drip in the bowl, then place it on the salad plate just to the left of the dinner plate. Then a spoon of potato salad would be placed on the lettuce leaf. That was how we did it, how everybody did it except for the Presiding Elder. He glanced at the chicken and immediately took the three largest pieces. Then he used his own fork to serve himself potato salad.

Bailey cleared his throat and asked, “Would you like some lettuce?” Piss Ant was so used to ignoring children that he didn’t even look at Bailey. He picked up the potato salad and fished out three of the halves of double-yolk eggs and put them on his plate beside the chicken. Then he completed filling his plate with the salad.

His mouth was so stuffed we could hardly understand him. “Save me some greens, sure have a soft spot for greens.”

Bailey’s face was a mask of angry disgust, and I knew he was going to do something. Just what, I wasn’t sure. When Momma looked at her grandson, she also had a premonition.

Bailey hesitated only a second. Using the lettuce fork, he speared every leaf in the bowl, held it up to drip, and then put the whole thing on his plate.

Momma reared back and pursed her lips. She didn’t speak. She turned and started to prepare Uncle Willie’s plate. Bailey looked at me. I wanted to laugh but didn’t dare, but I was pleased that he had the nerve to get that Presiding Elder good. I did give Bailey a little nod and he nodded back. Then he took the whole stack of lettuce and started to put it back into its receptacle. Momma said, “No, sir, little master, you will eat every bit of that lettuce before you get up from this table.”

Momma didn’t like the Presiding Elder either, but she was a stickler for the way to do things and the ways they shouldn’t be done.

Bailey sat back in his chair and surveyed the situation. Then he pulled up to the table, and taking one forefinger he flicked one of the leaves into his lap, slid it over to me, and got one more himself. He showed me how to roll the leaf like a cigarette and munch it.

We ate the entire bowl of lettuce—and only the lettuce—for Sunday dinner. After the Presiding Elder left, Momma and Uncle Willie sat on the porch laughing. They would not admit to us that they had been laughing at Bailey, but Momma called us outside.

“Now, young missy and young master, I know your stomachs are upset. I’ve seen how many times you went out to the little outhouse. You didn’t have to make yourselves sick. I have told you never be concerned at how much others may have. I always keep something in the kitchen for Grandma and the children.”

That evening she gave us chicken from the oven and potato salad from the icebox.

Cold Potato Salad

SERVES 6 TO 8

6 cups peeled, diced, cooked potatoes

1 medium onion, finely chopped

1 cup finely diced celery

1 cup chopped dill pickles

1 cup sweet relish, drained

8 large hard-boiled eggs, 4 chopped, 4 whole

Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

1½ cups mayonnaise

Fresh parsley, chopped

Combine potatoes, onion, celery, pickles, relish, and chopped eggs. Season with salt and pepper, and add mayonnaise. Chill for several hours. Just before serving, halve the remaining 4 eggs, and place on salad as decoration. Dust salad with parsley, and serve at once.

Fríed Chicken

SERVES 4

One 2-pound chicken

1 cup lemon juice

1 teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1 cup all-purpose flour

2 cups Crisco oil

Wash and pat dry chicken. Cut into pieces, place in a container, and add lemon juice. Put in refrigerator, covered, for 1 hour. Rinse, dry, and season with salt and pepper. Dredge chicken in flour.

In a large pot, heat oil. Add chicken pieces, and cover. Fry on high heat until brown on both sides.

Reduce heat to low-medium, cover, and cook for 30 minutes.

Remove from heat, and drain on paper towels. Serve hot.

Snow- Whíte Turníps

SERVES 4

8 small turnips, peeled

6 whole cloves

⅛ teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon sugar