Hanging Hill - Mo Hayder [38]
‘Can we go inside now?’
Sally carried all her work gear into the cottage and put it in a pile in the corner. Then she went into the bedroom, Millie following. Sally kicked off her shoes and pulled back the covers.
‘What?’
‘Get in.’
‘But it’s only five o’—’
‘Please.’
Millie obediently kicked off her shoes and crawled on to the bed. Sally checked the curtains were drawn tight, then switched off the light and got in next to her daughter, embracing her from behind, her head resting on her back. She didn’t speak. She lay there, listening to Millie breathing, her eyes on the slit of light between the curtains. She counted in her head, slowly and rhythmically moving herself through the minutes, through the silence.
It was almost a quarter of an hour before Millie spoke. ‘I’m sorry.’
Sally nodded. She was sure it was true.
‘He’s involved in drugs.’
‘Oh, God,’ she said wearily. ‘Oh, God.’
‘He sells drugs in the school, and at Faulkener’s too. He goes back and forth between the two. I don’t take them, Mum. I don’t. I tried it once with Nial and Soph. Please, please, don’t tell Isabelle – please. We hated it. It made my heart race and I thought I was going to die, but everyone at school’s done it, honestly – you’d be so shocked, Mum, at who’s done it. The prefects have, some of the ones in the hockey teams. They do it before they have a match. It’s like it’s totally normal.’
Sally pressed her head tighter into her daughter’s back. This was what the tarot card had been trying to warn her about, this happening behind her back. God, she really was as dumb as Julian had always said. ‘Is that why you’re avoiding him, that man? Because of the drugs?’
‘No. I don’t take drugs, Mum. I swear. I swear on everything.’
‘Is it something to do with Lorne Wood? With what happened to her?’
Millie turned round and gave her mother an odd look. ‘No. Of course not. Why do you think it would have anything to do with that?’
‘Then what?’
‘Money.’
‘What money?’
‘He lent me some money.’ She hitched in a breath, started to cry quietly. ‘Oh, Mum, I honestly thought it would be OK, I honestly did. I never thought it was going to turn out like this.’
Sally blinked dry-eyed in the darkness. Millie borrowing money? From someone like that? This was a dream. ‘It can’t be much.’ She paused, then added tentatively, ‘Can it?’
Millie curled herself into a ball, her shoulders shaking, saying over and over, ‘Oh shit oh shit oh shit. Mum, if you and Dad hadn’t split up it would never have happened. I’d have the money if you were still together.’
‘Is this about Glastonbury?’
‘No – it’s about Malta. If you and Dad were still together I could have gone on that school trip to Malta.’
‘You did go to Malta.’
‘Yes, but I could have gone without having to—’ She began to sob loudly. ‘This is such a mess. I’m such an idiot.’
Sally lifted her head. ‘Dad paid for the trip to Malta.’
‘He didn’t. In the end Melissa said he couldn’t. I couldn’t tell you – I thought you’d stop me going.’
‘So how on earth did you …? Oh, Millie. You’re telling me you got the money from him. From that man? But it must have been a lot. A lot of money.’
‘You’re making it sound awful. You don’t understand – you haven’t got a clue what it’s like. Everyone else’s parents are together. The whole class is going skiing in the autumn except Thomas and he doesn’t count, and Selma is going to New York at half-term. She’ll probably get loads of clothes while she’s there too and that’s before you even get to who’s going to Glasto. It’s horrible being me, Mum. You’ve got no idea, it’s horrible.’
‘How much do you owe him?’
‘He’s saying because I didn’t pay it back when I should