Happily Ever After_ - Benison Anne O'Reilly [12]
Considering what I’ve been through in my own marriage, however, I am probably in no position to lecture anyone these days. Pilots are, of course, often away from home too and this can place a great strain on their partnerships. For a time I naïvely believed that Tony and I would be exceptions to that rule but we’ve since gone on to have some huge struggles that have almost torn us apart. I wouldn’t say we are completely out of the woods yet, either.
When I first started seeing him I was surprised how often people, even those I hardly knew, would say, ‘Don’t you worry about him fooling around with all those hot young flight attendants?’ Such a helpful comment - I’ve spoken to other pilots’ partners and apparently I’m not alone in this. I was always tempted at this point to say, ‘And aren’t you worried that your husband/wife is banging the nineteen year old office temp/pool cleaner?’ but usually I just smiled through gritted teeth and responded with something like, ‘What sort of a relationship is it if you don’t have trust?’
Tony knew the reputation of pilots and was keen to reassure me I had nothing to worry about; the reality was much less glamorous than the image makers would lead us to believe. And although not antisocial, he always preferred to keep himself a little aloof from the cabin crew. If laying over somewhere overnight he would more likely head to the hotel gym, or watch TV or work on his log books, or just go to bed - alone - than head out partying. He also used to phone and email me regularly to keep in touch, but if he wasn’t the best communicator in person he was even worse on the phone, so our conversations were more of the ‘I’m okay and I’ll be back XXX’ type, rather than intimate little chats about feelings. (Do any men really like to talk about feelings?) This was enough for me, however. So no, I didn’t worry too much about him fooling around, but what I probably didn’t consider was that all the time apart is a barrier and if you are not careful it can create a distance between you all by itself.
I can look back on those early years with genuine nostalgia. Tony was so lovely to me back then, a total gentleman. He treated me…well, like a princess I suppose. I never got him talking much, but he was as good as his word and showed his devotion to me through his actions: a grasped hand, a proprietorial arm around my shoulders when with friends, a gentle stroking of my back when we were alone together watching TV.
After we’d been together for about a year and a half, Mark bought a place of his own and moved out. Tony said, ‘How about moving in with me,’ and with that Miss Eleanor Parkes, formerly of Russell Lea, now of Neutral Bay, underwent a most dramatic transformation: a transformation which astounded her friends and annoyed the hell out of her shell-shocked parents. The girl whose bedroom had once been so messy it was declared a no-go zone by her beleaguered mother, learnt what it was to be neat and tidy. I had to because my live-in partner was (and still is) completely anal.
Like his perfectly sculpted body, the immaculate appearance I’d observed on our first