Happily Ever After_ - Benison Anne O'Reilly [17]
Unfortunately the rest of our week didn’t quite live up to expectations. At dinner that night I must have eaten a bad prawn, or picked up some nasty bug from the swimming pool, but whatever it was, I fell violently ill and spent most of the small hours with my head delicately placed over the toilet bowl, only for this to be replaced later by, a-hem, another part of my anatomy. My fiancé was going to make a commitment to love me for better or for worse and it seems he was being offered an advanced preview of the latter. Instead of joining Tony on a planned snorkelling excursion to the outer reefs the next day, I feebly waved him off and spent the hours swinging in a hammock and sipping tepid lemonade, only raising myself occasionally from my lethargy to admire my new engagement ring.
Then the following day it rained. And the day after that. Anyone who has been to the tropics will understand the significance of this statement - this was no gentle spring shower, there were sheets of rain coming down all day and night, flooding all the potholes until small rivers, and then not so small rivers, started running between the burres. Even with our resort-supplied golf umbrellas, a trip to the restaurant was damp and perilous and all outdoor activities were severely curtailed. My Action Man fiancé did not like this one little bit and paced about our burre - which suddenly seemed very small - like a caged beast.
‘When is this bloody rain going to stop?’
‘There is nothing we can do about it, so why don’t you read a book or something?’
‘I don’t want to read. I’m pissed off. I wanted this holiday to be perfect.’
‘If it’s any consolation,’ I said, smiling indulgently, ‘I’ve had the perfect holiday.’
‘Yes, but it’s not meant to rain so heavily at this time of year.’
‘Well this is the tropics. You don’t get tropical rainforests without a whole lot of rain.’
‘I know that. Don’t you think I don’t know enough about the weather from my job?’
Oh dear - our first pre-wedding spat. No doubt the first of many, but I didn’t want our little holiday together ruined by a silly, pointless argument.
‘You know what your problem is? You’re not getting enough exercise and need an endorphin release. I’m trying to think of another way I can relieve your tension.’
I put on my best seductress look, went over to him, sat him down in a rattan cane armchair, got down on my knees, undid his fly, and proceeded to relieve his tension in the best way I knew how.
After I’d finished - or rather he’d finished - he said, ‘I knew there was a reason why I wanted to marry you.’
Then the sun came out for our last day and things got much better after that.
***
So to the wedding, held the following February, nearly eight years ago now.
Tony must have informed his mother of his intentions before we set out on our Fijian holiday because Pamela seemed resigned to, if a little ungracious about, the announcement. In all the time I’ve known him I’ve never seen Tony’s dad, Douglas, get excited about anything except fluctuations in the share market and his beloved Wallabies but he seemed pleased enough with the news.
My parents were, of course, happy for me but a little anxious, being somewhat intimidated by the lofty Cooper family. They were at pains to ensure that their elder daughter’s nuptials were conducted in the appropriate style and I think Mum missed out on a new bathroom to help pay for it all. I also contributed some of my own savings and in the end we had a wedding that was so tasteful and elegant that even Pamela couldn’t (openly at least) disapprove. The service was conducted at Tony’s school chapel and the reception at a harbour front restaurant.
Emma and Mimi were my obvious choice for bridesmaids. For a brief period my evil twin made an appearance and I contemplated having