Happily Ever After_ - Benison Anne O'Reilly [34]
‘Freighters? That doesn’t sound very glamorous.’
‘Only for a few years - I’ll be glad to get a break from whinging passengers.’
‘Is the money better or something?’
‘No, not initially…as a matter of fact a bit worse. But once you’re based in Hong Kong it’s a different matter altogether.’
‘Less money! How are we meant to manage that right now? My maternity leave pay is not going to cover everything, you know.’
‘We can just sell a few of my shares.’
‘I thought those shares were meant to be our retirement income.’
‘The new job is an investment. I don’t want to sit around at Qantas waiting for who knows how long for all those dinosaurs in the left hand seat to retire. I’m better than most of them anyway and the word is that Cathay is expanding so rapidly that my command will come through much faster - in less than half the time than at Qantas.’
‘Oh so that’s what all this is about - your self-imposed deadline of being a captain by forty. It’s a self-imposed deadline, Anthony - no-one else knows or cares. Anyway Cathay may say all these things, but is there any guarantee it will come off? And what about all the years you’ve already clocked up at Qantas? You’ll be burning your bridges…’
‘I’m not so optimistic about my future at Qantas these days. It seems I have ruffled a few feathers over the years.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I didn’t want to mention it, but I got hauled in by the senior guys the other day for a little chat. There have been some complaints about me. Apparently I have an attitude problem or something or other. “A problem with authority” I think were their exact words.’
‘Oh great…But even so it’s a one-off. Things like that can be overcome if you’re prepared to change.’
‘Actually it’s not the first time.’
‘What? Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?’
‘I didn’t think you’d be interested.’
‘Of course I’d be interested. You know, marriage is meant to be a partnership. How am I meant to help you when you won’t tell me what’s going on in your life?’
‘You’ve never been that supportive of my career anyway.’
‘That’s completely unfair.’
‘Is it?’
‘Though it’s hardly surprising you’ve got people offside at Qantas when you go around saying you are a better pilot than most of the captains you fly with.’
‘See - you’re taking their side now.’
‘And I have no say in this?’
‘We’ve talked about it before. It’s not like we’d have to move for years either. I hoped you’d be more reasonable.’
‘I’m not rejecting the idea outright. It’s the timing I have a problem with. If you get the job, which you will I bet, you will have to go off to Hong Kong for training for several weeks, won’t you?’
‘Yeah. A few months actually.’
‘A few months - just when we have a new baby!’
‘I’m hardly around that much anyway.’
‘And the fact you seem to have made the decision without me. Can’t we stay put for another six months and then look at it?’
‘They’re recruiting now.’
‘So you’re just going to do it?’ (I subsequently found out he had already done it.)
‘It can’t hurt to go for the interview.’
‘Oh well, I’ll shut up then, because my needs aren’t important obviously.’
He stared at me quietly for several seconds before rising carefully from the chair, walking over to me and handing me our sleeping child.
‘I’m going now,’ he said. ‘I’ll be back to pick you up tomorrow.’
And then he walked out without a backward glance.
***
Although he denied this, Tony had been hoping for a son. He had grown up in an all-boy household and the only version of parenthood he understood was the testosterone-charged, rough-and-tumble football game variety, the cricket games in the backyard-type. I’d seen enough of his interactions with our nephew Thomas to guess he’d been imagining instructing his son in the finer arts of the ruck and maul and the forward defensive stroke.
But this was small fry compared to the bigger problem. I believe that if we had had a son, in my husband’s ordered way of thinking, we would have ‘replaced’ William. The problem would have been ‘fixed’ and we could have filed away the