Happily Ever After_ - Benison Anne O'Reilly [40]
On the Saturday night prior Tony confronted me. ‘How long is the silent treatment going to go on?’
‘I have no desire to speak to you again ever.’
‘The affair is over. I ended it. What else am I meant to do?’
‘You could act sorry. Do you realise you never even said you were sorry?’
‘Sorry.’
‘You’re actually meant to mean it.’
‘I know you’ll never be satisfied no matter what I say. That’s the reason…’
‘What are you saying? Are you going to try and blame me for this?’
‘No…forget it…Anyway we have this christening tomorrow so we’ll have to at least pretend we are speaking.’
‘I’ll try and pretend.’
‘Have you said anything to anyone?’
‘Not yet.’
‘It would be best if it stayed that way, especially tomorrow.’
‘To protect your precious reputation.’
‘I just don’t want a scene. My mother has gone to a lot of trouble with this lunch.’
‘Yeah it’s all about appearances with the Coopers isn’t it?’
He sighed and walked away.
I made it through the christening, wearing a frozen smile and the glazed eyes of a Valium-addicted housewife. Luckily it was Isabel who was the centre of attention, looking suitably angelic and invoking lots of ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ and ‘just gorgeous’ in her white lace robes. I allowed Pamela to parade her granddaughter around most of the day, while I loitered in the kitchen, helping the caterers and myself to too much wine.
I noticed my mother was scrutinising me carefully during the service; every time I happened to glance in her direction she was looking at me. At lunch she sought me out and said, ‘Your friend Melanie called me yesterday. She is so worried about you that she actually looked up our number in the phone book. She said you’ve been really down the last couple of weeks. I thought going back to work was all you needed but seeing you today I’m worried you might have serious depression. You need to see someone about it and soon. You might need to take something.’
I think Mum was anticipating some resistance but there was none.
‘I will, I will…I know I need help. I think I will call my old counsellor up. I’ll see what she says about medication.’
‘Well if you don’t call I will.’
When everyone had left, Tony and I stayed to help clean up while Isabel, exhausted by the day’s activities, slept upstairs.
I was outside collecting glasses with Andrew, whom I always gravitate towards at these functions when given the chance. Sometimes I think he is the only member of the Cooper family who properly knows how to have fun. He’s a leaner build than Tony but otherwise the two could almost pass for twins and there have been long periods in recent years when I can honestly say I preferred him to his older brother. Not that there has ever been any of that sort of chemistry between us - he is almost certainly gay. He is now sharing a place in San Antonio, Texas, with a lovely Hispanic boy called Juan and I’m sure they are more than just roommates, but for whatever reason he has not revealed his sexuality to the family and it’s not my place to question why.
Like Mum he was observing me closely. ‘I see you’re not wearing your rings today.’
‘Oh yeah…I took them off to clean them and forgot to put them back on - silly me,’ I said, fabricating a limp smile.
‘You don’t have to pretend with me. I know.’
‘How do you know? I thought he wanted it all hushed up.’
‘Never mind - I just do. What are you planning to do? Does this taking off of rings signify anything?’
‘I honestly don’t know Andy. I’m still too numb.’
‘I would have thought you’d be more angry than this.’
‘I would have thought so too, but I mainly just feel hurt.’
‘Well I’m fucking angry with him. What was he thinking, the idiot?’
‘If