Happily Ever After_ - Benison Anne O'Reilly [59]
He wasn’t getting any younger, either. Mark and Janelle came over for a barbeque one day and the gossip soon turned to work matters. When my husband heard that guys only a couple of years ahead of him in the Qantas cadets had now made junior captain I looked closely at him for signs of regret. His long held image as golden boy had taken a severe denting in recent years and now he had to contemplate the reality that even in our professional lives we don’t always get what we want when we want it. At least these are the things I think were going through his head; I’d long since given up trying to engage him in discussions of this sort.
His solution, as always, was activity. By this stage he was on to restoring the very last room in the house, the formal dining room. We’d left this until last, reasoning that few people ever have formal dinner parties these days anyway. When he wasn’t at work or in that bloody dining room, he was sailing, at the gym, occasionally taking Issy to visit his parents or playing squash or golf with one of his mates: all activities that excluded me. Sex was the one way he would connect with me and that’s why I never knocked him back, no matter how tired and not-in-the-mood I was. It was more than just because I believed he’d be less likely to stray that way. It was my one conduit to closeness and I thought if I just hung in there, maybe…
The contrast between the two main men in my life at this stage couldn’t have been starker. Whilst I hardly registered as a blip on Tony’s radar, Alex always looked pleased to see me. He even remembered what type of coffee I liked to drink and would order a cup for me before meetings. I bet you that after seven years of marriage my husband would have struggled to answer that question. Alex also had a great sense of humour (translation: he laughed at my jokes) whereas I’d long since stopped my stand-up routine at home, knowing it would be greeted with indifferent silence.
Other people could grumble about having to front up to the office every day, but now that I was rid of Amanda I’d have to be on death’s door to miss the intellectual challenge of my work, gossip with Melanie and Karen, and remind myself that perhaps I wasn’t the biggest failure in the world. It was thanks to this environment I finally felt confident enough to wean myself off my antidepressants, and although I was half-prepared for a relapse, none came.
Yes, I couldn’t really fault Alex as a boss; it really was like having Edward back. He was a great mentor and delegated lots to me. Amanda never delegated anything - no that’s not strictly true, she would delegate all the crap menial jobs and was truly excellent at delegating her mistakes to me after they had occurred - but Alex deemed me intelligent enough to take on more responsibility. And so he should have; it was only my decision to work part-time that had prevented me from moving further up the ladder by this stage.
Still, he continued to intrigue. As the months wore on our little Erecta team became more comfortable together - friendlier and jokier - but I always felt Alex was keeping something in reserve.
It’s often the case, however, we reveal more about ourselves when we are out of our comfort zone. That’s exactly what happened with Alex when we stepped out of the office for a few days in late April, although whether I revealed more is probably a point for debate.
It was after an urologists’ conference in Melbourne. The conference was the ideal venue to launch Erecta, and Alex, Karen and I attended along with the Melbourne-based Erecta sales representatives. As much as I relish being a mum I don’t mind these occasional opportunities to escape to a fancy hotel and pretend I am single again. After the conference welcome drinks I dashed off for a quick but raucously boozy dinner with Tracey and later sat up in to the early hours drinking hot chocolate and gossiping with Karen.
The next day was hard