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My legs were trembling when I hopped in his car but I was hoping I could pass that off as the cold. I suddenly couldn’t think of a single thing to say and we drove some way in silence.

Keen to break the uncomfortable quiet, I started making small talk. ‘I love Balmain - it’s one of my favourite suburbs with all the history, and so close to the harbour and all the brilliant restaurants and pubs.’

‘Yeah I love it too. It’s great if you’re single, with all the pubs - like England. There are not many places like it in Sydney. You know, it’s still quite early - you wouldn’t like to go to one of my favourite haunts now to have a drink, would you?’

‘Ah no thanks, no offence, but someone I know might see us together. I don’t want to be the subject of scurrilous gossip at Issy’s playgroup.’

‘Oh okay.’

‘But I don’t know if I want to go home just yet either. It’s not often I have a free night.’

‘You could come back and have a drink at my place. Paul has a great wine collection. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if we borrowed a drop.’

We drove to Alex’s place. Paul was interstate with work. We had to ascend a huge flight of stairs to get there. It was a modern apartment, streamlined and well-equipped, but a little ‘beige’ and lacking in character. There were the standard black leather lounges and a flat screen TV and it could have passed for an anonymous hotel suite except for the incongruous sight of an exercise bike and weights in the corner of the living room. It was a typical bachelors’ apartment, I suppose, except that it was eerily neat for the home of two young guys. I was surprised about that, as the state of Alex’s office certainly never suggested he was particularly hung up on tidiness.

However, as promised, it had a huge balcony with glorious views over the harbour, so I could forgive it its other sins.

Alex poured us both a glass of wine, before we headed out to the balcony. The rain had stopped by this time but it was still mid-winter so I shivered a little in the breeze.

I sipped my wine and scanned the horizon, the familiar sight of the Harbour Bridge and the city lights beyond. Being a winter night there were few pleasure craft out on the harbour, but a Sydney Ferry was transporting a few late finishing passengers home, its headlights cutting a swathe through the night. It was a magical sight; one that I never tired of. Sometimes I feel a strange, almost maternal, affection for the city I call home, cantankerous beauty that she is.

‘It’s such a gorgeous view, Alex.’

‘Yes it is.’

Something about the way he said this made me turn around. He was staring directly at me.

‘That’s a bit corny, isn’t it?’

‘Yes, but it’s the best I can think of right now.’ He walked up next to me and said, ‘I’m a bit confused you see. I think you might want me to kiss you but I don’t want to get it wrong again.’

‘You won’t,’ I said.

He took aside my wine glass, put his mouth to mine and kissed me in a slow languorous way. A fire lit up between my thighs and I no longer felt the winter cold.

Then shyness crept over me and I found I couldn’t meet his eyes. He’d loosened his tie during dinner so I busied myself by undoing it. I unbuttoned another shirt button and kissed his neck with several soft kisses. It was hours since he’d shaved and his skin felt warm and rough on my lips. He smelt, as always, delicious.

I felt him exhale deeply. Then he put his hand under my chin, lifted my face to meet his and said, ‘I want you more than you could ever know, but I would never force you to do something you’re not comfortable with. You know that. So if at any time you feel you want to stop just say “stop” or “no” and I promise I will stop. You just have to say the word, you know.’

‘I know,’ I said.

So he kissed me again, but I didn’t say ‘stop’ or ‘no’.

Then he pulled me close towards him, his fingers pressing tightly into my spine. I felt him growing hard against me but I didn’t say ‘stop’ or ‘no’.

And when he took my hand and led