Happily Ever After_ - Benison Anne O'Reilly [76]
The interrogation had officially concluded.
***
I also got to reveal a few secrets of my own that night.
Alex was on one of his reconnaissance missions when he discovered the long silvery-pink scar which ran along a groove where my bikini pants would have sat, if I’d been wearing any. He carefully traced this with his finger.
‘What’s this?’
‘Oh, that’s from my caesarean. Isabel was a breech baby so I had to have a caesar in the end.’
‘Yow, it’s a big scar. It must have hurt.’
‘Yeah, but maybe no more than the real thing. Labour’s no picnic you know. All I cared about was having a healthy baby so it didn’t matter to me.’
‘Sometimes I forget you are a mum. What’s it like to give life to another human being? I can’t imagine…Hey what’s wrong?’
He’d seen my expression change. In his curiosity he’d inadvertently opened that other scar of mine, the one that had not healed so well.
‘I’m not so good at that part, Alex. I had a baby that died before Isabel. He was a little boy. That was basically the start of the rot for Tony and me.’
‘Oh my God, I had no idea. I am so sorry.’ He enclosed me in his arms in an act of contrition, pressing my face into his shoulder.
‘It’s okay. You weren’t to know.’
***
Eventually I looked at the clock and it said 4.34am. I knew I had to get home soon, in case Mum called me early.
I said to Alex, ‘I’d better go soon. Can I use your phone to call a taxi?’
‘What sort of a guy do you think I am? I’ll drive you home. And I want you to get some sleep. Come into the office after lunch for our meeting. I’ll say you called me and said you had a headache.’
‘But you’ve had no sleep either.’
‘It’s okay - I’ll survive. I’ll just drink heaps of coffee. I can come home and crash this evening. You have to look after your daughter.’
Before I left I knew I must have him one more time. I was planning a seduction but when I reached for him under the bed sheets I found he was already of the same mind; this was a young man who clearly had no need for the product he was promoting. So I climbed on top and straddled him with my legs and used my hands to pin his arms above his head. Management tree or not, on this occasion I decided I would be the one calling the shots.
As I was moving slowly up and down above him he stared at me with such a look in those remarkable eyes and whispered, ‘You’re so beautiful Eleanor.’
And then the stupidest thing happened. I started crying. And I couldn’t stop a couple of fat tears dripping on to his chest.
‘Are you crying, baby? What’s the matter?’
I couldn’t give him a satisfactory answer because I didn’t properly know myself. The reasons were too tangled: guilt at my faithlessness, my broken wedding vows, my lost feelings for my husband and the love I had for Isabel and the beautiful baby boy who’d died. But mainly I think I was crying because this lovely young man had told me I was beautiful and no-one had said that to me for a very, very long time.
14
The rules of engagement
As soon as Alex dropped me home I rushed to check my answering machine with heart in mouth, but no light was flashing to indicate any missed calls. Meggs the cat was clearly unhappy about being left unfed overnight and had expressed his displeasure by deliberately doing his business outside the kitty litter tray. I cleaned this up, plugged my mobile into my charger, had a shower, dried my hair and sat down to have a cup of milky tea - normal domestic rituals on an otherwise extraordinary day.
At 7am I rang Mum and spoke to Isabel. She’d had an undisturbed night and was bright and sparky.
‘Can you give the phone back to Grandma now, darling?’
‘Okay, Mummy.’
‘Mum, I have a bad migraine and need to go back to bed for a few hours. Can you take Issy to child care for me?’
‘No trouble, but are you sure you didn’t just drink too much last night? What will that nice young boss of yours say if you call in sick?’
‘Oh I’m sure he’ll be okay about it. I’ll go in for my meeting after lunch so I can pick Issy up okay.’
After that I hopped into bed and, remarkably,