Hard Rain Falling - Don Carpenter [32]
As he passed through the dining room, he saw a boy lying under the table, his mouth open, snoring. Jack stared at him, and then got down and stuffed the twenty into the boy’s mouth. The boy gagged, his eyes opening, bulging, and he turned on his side and began vomiting on the rug. Jack said, “I’m sorry, dint mean it that way,” and went back into the kitchen. He wanted an egg salad sandwich. And there was only one way for him to get an egg salad sandwich. And that was to boil some eggs, chop them up, add mayonnaise, find some bread, and make the sandwich. He jerked open the refrigerator, and looked through it. There was plenty of food in it, but no eggs. “What the fuck is this?” he said. He swept some of the bottles and packages out of the refrigerator, and heard the cracking of glass.
“Hey, we gonna go get some air,” Denny said into his ear. “Come on, you look drunk.”
“I am drunk,” Jack said. He wanted to tell Denny all about the books, but he could not find the words. He followed Denny and Billy out into the back garden. Maybe now we’ll pop the little fucker an take his money, he thought.
The three of them sat on the damp grass and lit cigarettes. Jack still had his cigar in his hand, but he did not smoke it; he just let it burn.
“God damn,” Denny said through the gloom. “What a rotten goddam life. You know what?”
“What?” Billy said dully. He did not sound drunk to Jack.
“Aint you drunk?” Jack asked him.
“Feelin no pain,” Billy said.
“Shit. I bet you don’t drink.”
“Sure I drink.”
“Chickenshit nigger mother.”
“Aw,” Denny said. “You know what? I’m gonna join the Marines. No shit. Get out of this rotten life. School. I hate school.”
“Me, too,” Billy said. “But I just took off; I aint going to join no Marine Corps.”
Jack drew the clear cold air into himself, held it a moment, and let it out. The air almost cleared his head.
“Marines?” he asked. “What the hell for, Denny? Are you gone crazy?”
“Aw, shit. I aint gettin nowhere. I cut school all the time, get caught, get suspended, my old lady eats my ass out, then I got to go to school again. I don’t do nothin there, just sit around. It’s the shits. I don’t do nothin down at the poolhall neither. I just wastin my life. You know what? You know what Clancy Phipps tol me? He says, `You join the service now, while you can, cause after you get a record you can’t get in.’ Aint that an awful thing? Here all his fuggin life he wants to go in the fuggin Marines, an so he cops a radio an gets six months an now the Marines won’t take him. Me’n his kid brother Dale, we’re gonna join together. Dale Phipps, nex his brother, he’s the toughest fucker I ever met in my life. Him’n me, we’re gonna join.”
“He aint so tough,” Jack said. He felt envious, but not enough to join the Marines. “You know what? The Marines is worsen prison. You really got to snap shit.”
“No,” Denny said seriously. “In the Marines, sure, you got to toe the line, but man, they’re tough ; you got to be good to make it. That’s worth doin.”
Billy said, “Man oh man. But they’re on your ass day an night. Me, I’m goin on the road. I figger I’m good enough, fair country poolshooter, an I can make my own livin.”
“Gee,” Denny said. “That’s great. You really got the talent, too. You got a skill, see; I aint got one. So all I can do is join the service. An the Marines are the cream of the crop. See?”
“Yeah,” Billy admitted. “But Jesus, what a way to go.”
“Fuck you guys,” Jack said dully. “You got your ambitions. I don’t.” He was feeling very sorry for himself.
“No,” Billy said. “I know it’s gonna be tough, me