Have a New Kid by Friday - Dr Kevin Leman [37]
If your child is older and has a boyfriend, that can often add an interesting mix to the babysitting equation. My suggestion is that you have an agreement with your child that when she babysits, the boyfriend never comes along. That way she is free to focus on the children she’s responsible for, and she’s not sending a mixed message to the family she’s babysitting for.
Before agreeing to any babysitter for your own children, think about these things:
1. Your child’s physical safety and emotional security is in this person’s hands. What kind of person do you want your babysitter to be?
2. What instructions do you need to give the babysitter about your child’s care? It’s always best to write them out and leave a copy with the babysitter so there is no confusion. This is especially important if there is any medicine to be given or feedings of infants/young children that need to be done.
3. How long do you want to be gone for the first trial run? Some parents decide to be gone only an hour and to go to a place no more than 10 to 20 minutes away from home if they have a new babysitter.
4. What expectations do you have for what will happen while you’re gone?
5. Some parents suggest a schedule such as the following: Pizza for dinner at 6:00. Movie (handpicked by the parents and on the counter) from 7:00 to 8:30. Bedtime at 8:30, with a bedtime story already picked out to be read to the children. You and only you know the children’s schedule. If you want your young children to be sleeping peacefully when you get home, tell the babysitter the schedule so things will seem normal for the children. If you’re a parent who doesn’t mind a free-for-all evening (and the resulting messy cleanup), that’s fine too. Either way, make your expectations clear to the babysitter, including that she will clean up.
6. Make sure the babysitter has your cell phone number, knows when to expect you home, and knows how to call 911.
All of these things will help your child and you to have healthy babysitting experiences.
Bad Language
I haven’t given specific examples here, because every family will differ on some of the specifics of what they consider bad language. A lot of it has to do with whether you are a person of faith (i.e., Christian or Jewish) who honors the 10 Commandments or not.If so, then those commandments clearly say to not take the Lord’s name in vain. But bad language isn’t only taking the Lord’s name in vain. It extends beyond that to words or phrases like Bleep you, the S word, A-hole . . . well, you get the idea.
Sometimes younger children will use bad language and not even know it. They hear it at school and just bring it to the dinner table as an experiment. Countless parents have been surprised by what’s come out of their child’s mouth in a matter-of-fact way.
One mom told me about a quiet family dinner she was having until her 6-year-old, Samantha, said very matter-of-factly, “Would you pass the bleepin’ potatoes?” The following evening, Samantha’s 8-year-old sister used the d word.
On both occasions, that mom just about dropped her fork.Her children just looked back at her serenely. On the second occasion, the 8-year-old simply said calmly, “What does d—n it mean?” Neither child had any idea what she was saying. They were just repeating what they’d heard out of another child’s mouth.
After the mom’s blood pressure slowed down from the shock, she took the experience a step further and decided now was the time for a teachable moment.
“I know the words,” she said. Then she proceeded to explain what the words meant and that they’d hear them come frequently out of other people’s mouths in public places. “However, we as a family have chosen not to use those words because they are filthy words and not honoring to God.”
Whether you are a person of faith or not, here’s something else very important to consider: the words you use reveal your character. Just by listening to the words you use, others will assume things about you that may or may not be true. Is that the picture you want to portray to others?
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