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By Root 1039 0

fear. She told me about all the procedures that have to be performed before he does something. Like the fact that she has to use an imaginary eraser in the bathtub to go through all the motions of cleaning the bathtub before he’ll get in. And that she has to fold his blanket a certain way when he’s tucked in at night. He certainly sounded like a perfectionistic child. But all people have their quirks. And children are lovers of routine. They insist that certain procedures in the home are followed (most notably, the bedtime routine). So what made her think her child was OCD? Because she’d read a book about it, and her neighbor had confirmed her thinking over coffee.

If you’re concerned that your child may have OCD, get an evaluation from a professional in the field. Far too many children have been misdiagnosed with OCD when they are simply powerful children who want you to approach them in a certain way. What is the purposive nature of the behavior? To get your attention. To control their world. To dominate and control others.

And they will do a very good job because they are doggedly perfectionistic. However, the important thing with these children is helping them understand why they have to have rituals. Is it because of a deep, underlying fear that things will change? That you will go away?

Before you put a label on your child or accept a label about your child from anyone else, why not come to understand the purposive nature of the behavior, then work toward changing the behavior?

Overeating

Take a look around, and you will see a lot of overweight children in America.

I watched poolside at a hotel as a family of four ate lunch. Their son, who looked to be about 10 years old, was grossly overweight. His belly hung way over the waist of his swim trunks. Long after the other 3 family members had left the table and started swimming, he remained in his chair, shoveling all the leftovers from others’ plates into his mouth. What was on the table? Hot dogs, chips, and brownies. No sign of veggies anywhere, unless you count the pickles on the hot dogs.

Finally the father seemed to notice his son wasn’t swimming. “Leave it!” he ordered, then went back to soaking in the hot tub. When the son ignored the dad’s orders and ate some more chips off his sister’s plate, the father got out of the hot tub, marched over to the table, and grabbed his son’s arm.

“I said, leave it! And since you can’t seem to listen,” the father said, clearly angry and red-faced, “you can walk around the pool 20 times.”

Each time the boy did a lap, he noticeably began to breathe harder when he got close to his dad in the hot tub. After the boy had done 3 loops around the pool, his father said, “Okay, now that you’ve cooled off, you can stop.” (I had to wonder, Which of the two needed to cool off?)

What did the boy do? He smirked, sat back down at the table, and proceeded to eat 3 more brownies off the serving plate.

I couldn’t help but think, How dumb is that dad anyway?

What did the boy really learn? A lot more than his father, that’s for sure. Hey, if I just pay attention to Dad and do what he says for a minute, he’ll let me do what I want.

Sometimes we parents are dumber than mud.

When children struggle with weight and overeating, junk food is the #1 cause. I know parents who actually have big straps around the refrigerator to keep their children away from nighttime raids. But the real answer is having smaller, well-balanced meals and no junk food, including sodas. Weight that is lost gradually is weight that can be kept off long term. Most important is a change of lifestyle, not diet plans or fasting.

If a child eats a well-balanced meal for dinner, he may still overeat. But the extra food won’t do terrible damage because what the child is getting is complex carbohydrates and proteins.

The real trouble is the junk food—overeating on sweets. And who brings the junk home? Usually the parents! Part of the problem is that fewer and fewer families are eating dinners at home anymore. Everyone’s in a hurry, so food has to be fast—but very little