Hawaii - James Michener [599]
Black Jim McLafferty was also impressive. He said in a flowing brogue, "Today we citizens of God's fairest group of islands welcome a distinguished congressman from the great State of Texas. We know, Congressman Carter, that our terrain, magnificent though it is, would be lost in the confines of your vast kingdom of Texas. I am reminded, sir, of a story I heard while serving with the air corps in England, when a loyal son of Texas, somewhat under the influence of Scotch, that wonderful beverage, shouted in a local pub, 'Why, Texas is so big, you can get on a train at El Paso and travel all day and all night and all the next day and all the next night, and when you wake up the next morning, where are you? You're still in Texas!' And the Englishman replied, 'I know how it is, Jack. We got trains like that in England, too.'"
When the crowd chuckled, the congressman bowed graciously and raised his hand to Black Jim, whereupon the Democrat continued: "But what may surprise you about Hawaii, sir, is that although you have always heard that these islands are rock-ribbed Republican^ which is probably why you voted against statehood at the last two sessions, I want to tell you here and now that the islands are going to be Democratic, and even though my good friend Hoxworth Hale is doing his very damnedest to keep them Republican, I'm doing just the opposite to make them Democratic, so that when you finally admit us to the Union, sir, you will be able to boast to your constituents, 'I'm responsible for bringin' Hawaii into the Union, yassuh. Best Democratic state in America, after Texas.'"
This prospect so intrigued the congressman that he asked if he could meet with McLafferty, so the Irishman, never one to miss the pregnant moment, volunteered: "Ride into town with me, and we can talk." To the dismay of the welcoming committee, who had planned things rather differently, big, comfortable Congressman Carter settled down beside Black Jim as the latter steered his 1949 Pontiac--"Never drive a better car than fifty per cent of the people who have to vote for you," his father had decreed, and Black Jim had found it a good rule.
"Do the islands really want statehood?" Carter asked, glad to be in private with a practicing politician.
"Sir, you can believe this one fact. The islands want to be a state." "Why?" Carter asked. "We treat them real well in Congress." "I'm sure that's what George the Third said about the colonies. Parliament treats them decently. Why do they want self-government?' That's why we fought the Revolution."
This marvelous bit of sophistry was quite lost on Carter, for as a boy he had lived along the Mexican border and the word revolution had no appeal to him whatever; were he able to repeal American history he would have done so, and the Thirteen Colonies would have gained their independence by the efforts of gentlemen in powdered wigs who made polite speeches. "What would you have under statehood that you now don't have?" he asked coldly.
"People usually answer that with some statement about taxation without representation, or the fact that under statehood we'd elect our own governor. But I have only one explanation, sir. If we were a state, we'd either elect or appoint our own judges."
"Don't you do so now?" Carter asked, for like most visitors to the islands, he knew nothing about them.
"Indeed we don't," Black Jim said with feeling. "They're appointed from Washington, and even when we have Democratic presidents, they usually appoint worn-out mainland Republicans."
"How does that hurt you?" asked Carter, who had once been a judge himself.
"We're a feudal society here . . ." McLafferty began, but again, he used the wrong