Heads You Lose - Lisa Lutz [45]
The last thing Lacey expected to find was Sheriff Ed and Paul planted on the couch watching a repeat of Brainfreeze, a short-lived game show in which contestants ate a pint of ice cream and then had to answer reading and arithmetic questions.
“Hello?” Lacey said.
“Welcome home,” Sheriff Ed replied.
“What’s going on?” Lacey asked over the whimpering of a contestant trying to divide forty-nine by seven.
The sheriff picked up the remote control and turned off the TV.
“Have a seat,” he said.
“This sounds serious,” Lacey replied, following his instructions.
A glazed expression had taken over Paul’s face—the same one as when Paul first discovered that you could slice earthworms in half and they’d live. That was one long summer.
Sheriff Ed cleared his throat and said, “Lacey, we found some of Hart’s personal effects in our investigation.”
“Like what? Do you know who the killer is? Where was he living? I forgot to ask Hart’s mom, like a complete moron.”23
“I’m not here about that, Lacey,” the sheriff abruptly replied. “Did you know that Hart had a life insurance policy?”
“He was only twenty-eight. Why would he have that?” Lacey asked.
“I don’t know,” said the sheriff. “You didn’t know about this?”
“Well, we hadn’t spoken in six months.”
“He took the policy out two years ago, right after you got engaged. A hundred thousand dollars,” Sheriff Ed said, looking at Lacey for a hint of surprise. Whether he saw any was hard to gauge. Lacey had been working on her poker face since this whole business began.
“Oh,” Lacey replied.
“You’re his sole beneficiary.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Just fill out the paperwork,” the sheriff said, handing Lacey a manila envelope.
With that, Sheriff Ed got to his feet, tipped his hat, and departed without another word. Once the sheriff’s car was long gone, Paul brought out the Purple People Eater and took the biggest bong hit of his life.
“Congratulations,” Paul said flatly. “You know what this means, right?”
“Yes,” Lacey replied. “I am now suspect number one.”
NOTES:
Dave,
Back to you. I tossed in a few fancy words to illustrate how unnecessary they are. I am sanguine that you will agree. For the record, I took three years of Latin in high school. Still, I managed to keep it out of my chapter.
I don’t want to harp on the insanity of your last chapter, but we’re supposed to be building on each other’s work. When I make a suggestion, please take it seriously. I know what I’m doing here.
Lisa
Lisa,
Three years of Latin, wow! Do you mean Latin Dance?
I can’t help but admire your skill in turning all my ominous revelations into jokes so the reader wouldn’t be distracted from another chance to watch Lacey flirt with Doc Egan.
As for the vocabulary, I’ll try to turn it down a notch.
Dave
CHAPTER 14
Terry was cutting the pretty plants. Cut, cut, cut, went the scissors.
Paul was visiting his friend Terry.
“Terry, why did you not tell me this before?” asked Paul.
“Do you mean about the teeth?” asked Terry.
“Yes,” said Paul. Paul was watering the pretty plants.
“I did not want to scare you,” said Terry.
Paul was scared. He rubbed the bump on his forehead.
“Do not be scared of Marv,” said Terry. “Your sister’s new friend is more scary.”
“Who is my sister’s new friend?” asked Paul.
“I will give you two clues,” said Terry. “Clue number one: He lived in a large city, but now he lives in the country.”
Paul thought and thought.
“I will give you another clue,” said Terry after a while. “He is a doctor.”
Paul thought some more. “Is it Doctor Egan?” Paul asked.
“Yes,” said Terry.
Paul had solved the riddle!
“Doctor Egan seems nice,” said Paul.
“He