Helliconia Summer - Brian W. Aldiss [412]
‘Akhanaba had favoured me and set many fruits in my life’s way. And always to those fruits an additional flavour was given when I saw that more were promised – tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after that. Whatever I wished, I might have more of.
‘It’s true I suffered setbacks and defeats, but that within a general atmosphere of promise. I did not allow them to disturb me for long. My personal defeat in the Cosgart – well, I learnt from it and put it behind me, and eventually won a great victory there.’
They passed a line of gwing-gwing trees. The king snatched down a gwing-gwing, biting into it to the stone as he spoke, letting the juice run down his chin. He gestured, clutching the despoiled fruit.
‘Today, I see my life in a new light. Perhaps all that was promised me I have already received … I am, after all, more than twenty-five years.’ He spoke with difficulty. ‘Perhaps this is my summer, and in future when I shake the bush no fruit will fall … Can I any longer rely on plenty? Doesn’t our religion warn us that we must expect times of famine? Fah! – Akhanaba is like a Sibornalese, always obsessed with the winter to come.’
They walked along the low cliffs separating land from beach, where the queen was accustomed to swim.
‘Tell me,’ said JandolAnganol carelessly, ‘if you as an atheist do not have a religious construction to put to the case – how do you see my difficulties?’
CaraBansity was silent, setting his beefy red face towards the ground as if guarding it against the king’s abrasive look. Work up your courage, he told himself.
‘Well? Come, say what you will. I have no spirit! I have been flogged by my whey-visaged vicar …’
When CaraBansity stopped walking, the king followed suit.
‘Sire, I recently to oblige a friend took into my establishment a certain young lady. My wife and I entertain many people, some alive, some dead; also animals for dissection, and phagors, either for dissection or for bodyguards. None caused as much trouble as that certain young lady.
‘I love my wife, and ever continue to do so. But I lusted after that certain young lady. I had a contempt for her, yet I lusted after her. I despised myself, and yet I lusted after her.’
‘But did you have her?’
CaraBansity laughed, and for the first time in the king’s presence, his face lightened. ‘Sire, I had her much as you have that gwing-gwing, the fruit par excellence of dimday. The juice, sire, ran down … But it was khmir and not love, and once the khmir was quenched – though that was certainly a process … that was summer process, sire – once it was quenched, I loathed myself and wanted nothing more of her. I established her apart and told her never to see me again. Since when, I learn that she has taken to her mother’s profession, and caused the death of at least one man.’
‘What’s all this to me?’ asked the king with a haughty look.
‘Sire, I believe the activating principle of your life to be lust rather than love.
‘You tell me in religious terms that Akhanaba has favoured you and put many fruits in your path. In my terms, you have taken what you would, done what you would, and so you wish to continue. You favour ancipitals as instruments of your lust, not caring that phagors are in reality never submissive. Nothing really can stand in your way – except the queen of queens. She can stand in your way because she alone in the world commands your love, and perhaps some respect. That is why you hate her, because you love her.
‘She stands between you and your khmir. She alone can contain your – duality. In you as in me, and perhaps as in all men, the two principles are divided – but the division in you is as great as your state is great.
‘If you prefer to believe in Akhanaba, believe now that he has by these supposed setbacks given you warning that your life is about to go wrong. Make it right while the chance is offered.’
They stopped on the cliff, ignoring the dull thunders of the sea, and stood