Henderson the Rain King - Saul Bellow [125]
her. How does she stride, how does she saunter, how does she he or gaze or rest or breathe? I stress the respiratory part," he said. "She do not breathe shallow. This freedom of the intercostal muscles and her abdominal flexibility" (her lower belly, which was disclosed to our view, was sheer white) "gives the vital continuity between her parts. It brings those brown jewel eyes their hotness. Then there are more subtle things, as how she leaves hints, or elicits caresses. But I cannot expect you to see this at first. She has much to teach you." "Teach? You really mean that she might change me." "Excellent. Precisely. Change. You fled what you were. You did not believe you had to perish. Once more, and a last time, you tried the world. With a hope of alteration. Oh, do not be surprised by such a recognition," he said, seeing how it moved me to discover that my position was understood. "You have told me much. You are frank. This makes you irresistible, as not many are. You have rudiments of high character. You could be noble. Some parts may be so long-buried as to be classed dead. Is there any resurrectibility in them? This is where the change comes in." "You think there's a chance for me?" I said. "Not at all impossible if you follow my directions." The lioness stroked past the door. I heard her low, soft, continuous snarl. Dahfu now started to go in. My nether half turned very cold. My knees felt like two rocks in a cold Alpine torrent. My mustache stabbed and stung into my lips, which made me realize that I was frowning and grimacing with terror, and I knew that my eyes must be filling with fatal blackness. As before, he took my hand as we entered and I came into the den saying inwardly, "Help me, God! Oh, help!" The odor was blinding, for here, near the door where the air was trapped, it stank radiantly. From this darkness came the face of the lioness, wrinkling, with her whiskers like the thinnest spindles scratched with a diamond on the surface of a glass. She allowed the king to fondle her, but passed by him to examine me, coming round with those clear circles of inhuman wrath, convex, brown, and pure, rings of black light within them. Between her mouth and nostrils a line divided her lip, like the waist of the hourglass, expanding into the muzzle. She sniffed my feet, working her way to the crotch once more and causing my parts to hide in my belly as best they could. She next put her head into my armpit and purred with such tremendous vibration it made my head buzz like a kettle. Dahfu whispered, "She likes you. Oh, I am glad. I am enthusiastic. I am so proud of both of you. Are you afraid?" I was bursting. I could only nod. "Later you will laugh at yourself with amusement. Now it is normal." "I can't even bring my hands together to wring them," I said. "Feel paralysis?" he said. The lioness went away, making a tour of the den along the walls on the thick pads of her feet. "Can you see?" he said. "Barely. I can barely see a single thing." "Let us begin with the walk." "Behind bars. I'd like that fine. It would be great." "You are avoiding again, Henderson-Sungo." His eyes were looking at me from under the softly folded velvet brim. "Change does not lie that way. You must form a new habit." "Oh, King, what can I do? My openings are screwed up tight, both back and front. They may go to the other extreme in a minute. My mouth is all dried out, my scalp is wrinkling up, I feel thick and heavy at the back of my head. I may be passing out." I remember that he looked at me with keen curiosity, as if wondering about these symptoms from a medical standpoint. "All the resistances are putting forth their utmost," was his comment. It didn't seem possible that the black of his face could be exceeded, and yet his hair, visible at the borders of his hat, was blacker. "Well," he said, "we shall let them come out. I am firmly confident in you." I said weakly, "I'm glad you think so. If I'm not torn to pieces. If I'm not left down here half-eaten." "Take my assurance. No such eventuality is possible. Now, watch the way she walks. Beautiful?