Hexed_ The Iron Druid Chronicles - Kevin Hearne [87]
They were cursing their fashion sense in German, one observing that their boots weren’t made for running but they’d had to do an awful lot of it this morning. The other said the running wouldn’t be necessary if people would just die like they were supposed to.
They were pretty shagged out by the time they fetched up to my house, but I was completely refreshed and recharged. The sirens nearby stopped, but they sounded only a few blocks away, up near University Drive and a bit to the east.
Granuaile had locked my door, as expected. I almost changed back to human form and knocked on the door, but just in time I remembered Oberon saying Mr. Semerdjian was back. I glanced over my shoulder and, sure enough, the telltale gap in the blinds told me he was watching. If I changed now, he’d report me for indecent exposure and whatever else he could dream up. Instead, I scratched at the door with my paws and called to Oberon, as the witches huffed and puffed and swore they’d snuff me for tearing out some of their hair and making the rest of it wilt.
Oberon was looking out the front window at the witches on the edge of my lawn and growling as I heard Granuaile coming to the door.
No, we have a witness. Must behave. If they step on the lawn they’ll trigger the wards, and I think they know it. Granuaile opened the door, and I bolted to the kitchen as she closed it and locked it up. “Atticus? What’s going on?” She peered out the window. “Where did the porn stars come from?” I unbound myself from the hound form and gagged a bit as I spat the witch’s hair onto the kitchen table. The third amulet the Morrigan had given me was there, and I snatched it up as I said, “The porn stars are witches, and they tried to kill us. Stay inside until I come back.” “You’re leaving again? The phone’s been ringing off the hook, but I haven’t been answering it.” “The widow’s in danger and I have to protect her. Keep ignoring the phone and stay inside,” I said as I headed for the back door. “All right, but are you okay? Your skin looks like hamburger,” she said, noting where I’d had my unhappy landing on the street. “I’ll heal.” The phone started to ring, true to Granuaile’s word. “Don’t worry, I’ll be home soon.” “Okay, sensei,” she said. “Nice ass,” she added as I closed the door behind me. It was a comment I’d have to enjoy later. I tossed the amulet into a patch of grass, drew power, and changed form again into an owl. I hadn’t shape-shifted this much in ages, and it was starting to hurt. I collected the amulet in my talons and pounded the air until I cleared my neighbor’s fence, keeping below the rooftops so the witches wouldn’t see me. I hoped they’d be stupid enough to test my wards or at least waste their time shouting at my house. The hope was short-lived. I cast camouflage on myself while in the air, and when I had to cross my street to head north to the widow’s house, I saw the witches already chugging back toward Roosevelt, grimly frustrated and looking for someone to take it out on. I landed on the widow’s porch, screeching to get her attention, and her eyes widened. I unbound myself and remembered to cover my goodies just in time. The widow smiled widely and cackled. “Whoo-hoo, Atticus, have ye come to give me a show? I think I have a couple of dollars in me purse inside.” Crouching down carefully to pick up the amulet off her porch, I said, “Yes, let’s get inside quickly, please.” I had to get her out of sight before the witches got there. “It’s open—get yer naked bum in there.” I dashed indoors, asking her to please hurry, and I darted to her bathroom and yanked a towel hanging from the shower stall to wrap around my hips. “Aw, why’d ye put away yer twig and berries?” the widow teased when I