Hide & Seek - James Patterson [77]
I finished the last entry before the lights went out. It sounds like a long whine, and I’m not like that. Not even locked up in this prison. It is now six hours before the trial begins.
What will ultimately happen? What will the verdict be? I have no idea. None, zero, not a clue. When I hear the evidence, will I be any closer to the truth? Finally know how it all happened? Who will tell me what lies hidden in my heart?
Will you be closer to the truth? I’ve told you everything so far. What do you feel? Are you sure? Am I telling the truth—or am I just another celebrity liar?
Are you really sure about me?
When really bad trouble comes, do I simply shoot my way out? Is killing my only weapon? Do I have a tendency to get myself involved with monsters?
Am I a monster myself?
CHAPTER 91
HERE WE GO!
“You ready, Mrs. Bradford? Everything’s going to be fine. Let’s go now. We’re going to get you inside the courtroom as fast as humanly possible. We need your help with that. Keep your head down. Keep walking.”
“I’ll do my best, Bill.”
“I know you will.”
More perks. They sent a specially trained guard up from New York City for me. A pro at this. His job is to oversee the other guards who’ll protect me from the press.
He’ll lead me inside, sit near me while the trial’s going on, then get me back to prison as quickly and easily as he can. Bill Seibert’s his name. A nice man, actually. Nice manners and an even disposition.
I felt him push me gently from behind, and I tripped slightly as I got out of the van. A great start, huh? I could already see the headlines: MAGGIE TRIPPED UP ON FIRST DAY!
I walked into the blinding TV lights, closely packed human bodies, and a barrage of embarrassing questions: Did I do it? How did I feel? Was I able to write in prison? What were the inmates like? Did I sing any of my songs for them? Give me a break!
The level of stupidity and “high sleaze” was beyond anything I could imagine. I felt as though I might be sick. My legs were unsteady as I tried to walk. The handcuffs I wore made me feel guilty.
“Just follow me,” Seibert said. “Don’t stop for anything. Don’t say anything to anybody, Mrs. Bradford.”
I did just what he said.
He was the pro.
State troopers in cowboy hats could barely hold back the crowd. There were a few boos, but cheers too. The scene made me absolutely dizzy. The last time I had been in such a crush was in San Francisco—not exactly something I wanted to remember now.
Hands grabbed at me from across the police barricades. Don’t touch me. Please leave me alone! I don’t belong to any of you. The thought of a stranger’s hand on me made me want to scream out loud. I held it in, held everything inside.
Blessedly, most of the loud, unruly crowd was shut out by a great oak door.
Suddenly, I was inside the high-ceilinged courthouse foyer. Court clerks, extra—mostly elderly—policemen, and minor village dignitaries stared at me now as though I were an alien from outer space. There were the usual black-and-white photos on the white plaster walls leading up a marble staircase; state, local, and American flags hung limply on gilded poles. It was so unbelievably weird.
Barry and Nathan hurried to me, Nathan shaking my hand, Barry kissing me on the cheek. They followed me inside the crowded courtroom. Everything seemed so unreal. Barry and Nathan seemed unreal to me too.
I actually felt physically sick. I thought I was going to throw up. The terrifying excitement seemed to have entered the room like deadly gas. Every face turned toward me as if on cue. Ordinary people. Famous writers in the gallery.
This was so horrible, so bad.
I struggled to keep my head up, to look innocent. I sat beside Nathan at the defendant’s table; Barry took a seat reserved for him in the front row of spectators.
I held on to the defense table with both hands for support. I was trembling. I felt cold and so very alone.
I looked around for Jennie and Allie. Only Jennie was there, of course. I knew that. We waved at each other, and Jennie started to cry. So strange and weird