Highest Duty_ My Search for What Really Matters - Chesley B. Sullenberger [63]
Granted, I’m Lorrie’s husband and I love her, so this may sound overstated. But those who’ve walked up a mountain with her know just what I’m talking about.
One of Lorrie’s friends, Helen Ott, who has joined her on numerous fitness hikes, puts it this way: “Lorrie is like a bright light.” Helen talks about all the fun she has on these walks, because Lorrie is such a good storyteller and is so supportive of other women. “She makes people feel confident in their abilities,” Helen says, “and she makes them feel good about themselves.”
Lorrie’s embrace of exercise—and the idea that it is best done with others, and in the great outdoors—was actually a journey that began very uneasily for her. She speaks openly with women about how she was “the quintessential chubby girl” for most of her childhood. She has worked to understand the impact her dad’s alcoholism had on her eating habits and on her sense of herself growing up. Hers was not a painless childhood, but she isn’t one to make excuses.
Lorrie was overweight as an adult, too, and that was exacerbated by the fertility drugs she took trying to get pregnant. The drugs left her thirty-five pounds heavier, and feeling deeply wounded. Unable to conceive a child, she felt that her body had betrayed her. Even after we adopted Kate and Kelly, and even though we felt our family was complete and perfect, her feelings remained raw.
“I fell madly in love with the girls the moment we brought them home in our arms,” Lorrie has explained to her clients. “Sully and I felt as if we had won the baby lottery. But those feelings of betrayal, they didn’t magically go away. When the infertility ordeal was over, I had two incredibly beautiful daughters that I loved with every fiber of my being, but I was angry at my body.”
A decade ago, just before Lorrie turned forty, she decided that she would try to let go of the anger and make peace with her body. First, she joined a gym. But walking on a treadmill and going nowhere seemed unsatisfying. She was still having what she called “negative conversations” with her body parts. She told me she felt “awkward” at the gym. “The more I focused on my butt, the bigger it seemed to get,” she’d say. Like a lot of people, she was trying to lose weight by beating her body into submission.
The mind-body connection is powerful, of course, and the fact that she didn’t like the body carrying her through life was a big issue. Then she took a class at a local gym with a woman named Denise Hatch, who put things in perspective: “Be grateful for what your body can do, rather than focusing on what it can’t do. You can’t have children. That’s hard on you, I know. But your arms and legs work. You’re healthy. You have two daughters who need to see you modeling healthy behavior. So all of this negative body image talk and thoughts have to stop right now.”
Lorrie learned that it was vital to find a way of exercising that she liked. “If you’re not a runner, then be a walker, a hiker, a dancer,” she tells women now. “Just be brave. Find your thing and do it. As with everything in life, if you like doing something, you will do it more often.”
In Lorrie’s case, hiking liberated her. Walking outdoors and seeing a red-tailed hawk gliding overhead or looking out over the carpetlike hills of California or feeling the softness in the summer wind—she realized she was having spiritual experiences she’d never find on a treadmill. And her enthusiasm was contagious. She wanted to hike every day, and to take me and the girls with