Hit List - Laurell K. Hamilton [67]
He pressed his hand over mine, holding it still against his chest. “How often?”
“I don’t keep count.”
“Average?”
“Three days a week, I guess.”
He laughed a surprised sound. It made me look at his face. “That’s a lot better than I’m getting now.”
“That’s if you’re okay with being in the bed with other men and me. Since there’s so many we do a lot of group scenes. It helps everyone get more turns.”
“And you’re the only girl for all of them?”
I thought about that. “No, a couple of them have other lovers.”
“And you’re all right with that?”
It was my turn to look surprised at him. “Are you kidding? There’s only so much time in the day, so a helping hand is great, especially for the men that I’m not in love with.”
He nodded. “So, I could have a girlfriend if I found someone who would have me?”
“I’d encourage it.”
“Because you wouldn’t be in love with me.”
“But you might be in love with me, do you understand that?”
His face was solemn again. “I do.”
“And you still want to feed me?”
He raised my hand up and laid a gentle kiss on my palm. “You’ve already given me more physical contact than I’ve had from a woman in two years.”
I couldn’t keep the surprise and the near horror off my face. “Dear God, Ethan, not even sleeping in big naked kitty piles?”
“I am an outcast, Anita, barely tolerated. I will be their muscle until the day something faster and stronger than I am kills me. It is my only use to the red clan. You don’t cuddle at night with someone you’re sure is basically a meat shield.”
“That’s harsh,” I said.
“It’s my life.”
In my head I thought, It’s not much of a life. “If you come to St. Louis there will be plenty of people to cuddle with, as long as you don’t insist on it all being weretigers.”
He entwined his fingers with mine. “You have such small hands.”
“They match the rest of me,” I said.
He smiled. “Not all of you is small. Your breasts are amazing.”
“Yeah, yeah, my chest is all breasts.”
“No, breasts, and muscle. You’re in amazing shape. You hit the gym like a guard.”
“I work out with our guards as often as I can.”
He gave me wide eyes. “I’ve never heard of a royal that works out with the guards.”
“I’m not big on the whole royalty thing,” I said.
“Our queen thinks you show a lack of respect.”
“She’s right,” I said.
“It’s been wonderful sleeping next to a woman again. I hadn’t realized how much I missed just holding someone in my arms.”
I realized that Ethan wasn’t dominant enough to push the sex forward. I was going to have to be bolder, or we’d be talking for another hour. Talking was good, I liked that I could talk to him, but I needed to feed the ardeur and find Edward. He needed me at his back.
“Kiss me,” I said.
“What?” he asked.
“Kiss me.”
He looked uncertain then, nervous.
“Has it been two years since you kissed a girl?”
He nodded, and he wouldn’t meet my eyes.
I reached up with the hand he wasn’t holding and touched his face, made him look at me. “Has it been two years since you’ve done anything with a girl?”
“Yes.” He whispered it.
I smiled at him, trying to make it gentle. “You’re going to be good at it.”
“How can you tell?”
“You’re a wereanimal, so that makes you a sensualist, and I’ve seen you fight. You know how to use your body; that translates to the bedroom.”
“I’ve known fighters who weren’t good in the bedroom.”
“They had issues,” I said.
“How do you know that I don’t have issues?”
“Everyone has issues,” I said, “but if the issues are too much I’ll let the ardeur free and it takes away all the doubts.”
“I didn’t think I’d be this nervous,” he said, and he let go of my hand and just looked at me.
“It’s okay to be nervous,” I said.
“Are you nervous?” he asked.
I smiled at him. “I was, but I’m not now.”
“Why not?” he asked.
“Because you’re more nervous than I am.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. Why shouldn’t that make you more nervous? Why don’t you think I’m a pussy for being nervous?”
“You called me sweet earlier; I’ll return the compliment.”
“Sweet isn’t what a woman wants from a man.”
“Oh, I think you’ll find that a lot of women rate sweetness