Hold Me Closer, Necromancer - Lish McBride [0]
Contents
1 Dead Man’s Party
2 Well, Ain’t That a Kick in the Head?
3 These Are a Few of My Favorite Things
4 Brown Paper Packages Tied Up with String
5 She’s a Lady
6 Sweet Dreams Are Made of This
7 I’m Gonna Keep My Sheep Suit On
8 Hold Me Closer, Necromancer
9 The Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades
10 Waiting, For a Girl Like You
11 She Loves Me Like a Rock
12 Sweet Child o’ Mine
13 I Put a Spell on You, Because You’re Mine
14 The Devil Inside
15 I Hear You Knockin’, But You Can’t Come In
16 Papa was a Rolling Stone
17 Strangers in the Night
18 Don’t Rock the Boat, Baby
19 Kick-Start My Heart
20 C’mon, Baby, Don’t Fear the Reaper
21 Make a Little Birdhouse in My Soul
22 Easy Like Sunday Morning
23 School’s Out Forever
24 Come Together, Right Now, Over Me
25 I’m Going to Break My Rusty Cage and Run
26 Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting
27 Unchain My Heart; Oh, Please, Please, Set Me Free
28 Beep Beep’m, Beep Beep, Yeah
29 Ballroom Blitz
30 Back in Black
31 Live and Let Die
The Seattle Times
Acknowledgments
1
Dead Man’s Party
I stood in front of today’s schedule still holding my skateboard, still drenched from the ride over, and still desperately wishing that I hadn’t dropped out of college. But wishing wouldn’t erase Sam from the counter slot and rewrite it under the grill slot. No matter what, my job kind of sucks, but on the grill it sucks less. On the grill, you don’t have to handle customers. Something about the fast food uniform makes people think it’s okay to treat you like crap. Personally, I’m always polite to anyone who handles my food. There are lots of horrible things that can be done to your meal before it gets to your plate.
Maybe I could switch? No, the schedule told me Ramon worked grill today. Nothing short of fifty bucks and a twelve-pack would have made him switch, and I didn’t have either of those. I groaned and leaned my head against the wall.
Someone walked in after me and slapped me on the shoulder. “Should’ve stayed in school,” he said.
I recognized Ramon’s voice without opening my eyes. Not surprising, since I’d known Ramon since sixth grade. I wasn’t shocked by his lack of sympathy, either.
“You didn’t drop out, and yet you’re still here,” I said, rolling my head to the side to look at him.
“What, and leave my man Sammy all alone? What kind of friend would that make me?”
“A smart one.”
He laughed and tossed his black hoodie on the coat hooks, trading the sweatshirt for an apron. I did the same, but with much less enthusiasm.
Ramon was the only person who called me Sammy. Everyone else called me Sam, even my mom, except when she was pissed and did the full-name thing.
I signed on to my register slowly, glad that nobody stood at the counter waiting to be helped. While the manager, Kevin, counted and checked my till, I stared at the pictogram of a burger nestled between similar representations of shakes, sodas, and fries on the front of my register. I wondered why humankind seemed so dead set on destroying all of its accomplishments. We draw on cave walls, spend thousands of years developing complex language systems, the printing press, computers, and what do we do with it? Create a cash register with the picture of a burger on it, just in case the cashier didn’t finish the second grade. One step forward, two steps back—like an evolutionary cha-cha. Working here just proved that the only things separating me from a monkey was pants. And no prehensile tail, which I wish I had. Oh, the applications.
My name is Samhain Corvus LaCroix, and I am a fry cook. I tried to take some pride where I could. If I was going to be a dropout loser, then I was going to be the best dropout loser. That pride came with some complications because it always depressed me to spot anyone, short of a manager, working fast food over the age of eighteen. I didn’t look in any mirrors until I got home and out of my uniform. It was better that way.
“There you go, Sam.” Kevin shut my till and wandered off. We