Hope - Lesley Pearse [170]
Right from the first time Albert met the whole Renton family he knew he could never carry it off. They were typical peasants – strong, virile males and plain but earthy women, built for childbearing. Up against such men he felt inadequate, and even though he knew little of women, he sensed a female Renton would be like a bitch on heat.
The wedding and the party afterwards were torturous. His own family were cold and brooding, his mother a vicious, spiteful woman who had always belittled any displays of tenderness or affection. In contrast, the Rentons hugged and kissed, danced and sang, and he felt like a fish out of water. He shuddered as he overheard many innuendos about the wedding night and the baby they hoped would soon follow. For two pins he would have run away then, anything rather than face what he knew was supposed to come next.
He was aware he’d handled the wedding night all wrong; maybe he should have asked William how he’d managed it. He could bet William never told Anne she was a whore for wanting him, or pushed her away as he did Nell.
But marriage was for ever, and as mere servants they didn’t have the luxury of separate rooms either. Sharing a bed with Nell turned his stomach, her soft flesh pressed against him, her repulsive female smell, and that desperate need wafting out of her.
The reproach in her eyes and her silent tears were unbearable and drove him mad with hatred. He knew she was a good woman, but that just made the situation worse, and he had to pick on her constantly to justify the rage inside him.
Then Hope came to live with them, and every time he looked at her pretty, innocent face he felt threatened. She wasn’t like Nell, she was smart, sparky and brave and very likely to work out for herself that he wasn’t a real man.
His first thought was to kill her that day she caught him with Sir William. He could have wrung her neck like a chicken and buried her in the woods and he would have had no qualms about it. But then he sawthe letter and knew there was a better way to get rid of her. He wanted her to suffer degradation and isolation just the way he had at the same age, and with no money or character there was only one route open to her. There was the bonus that he retained the letter from the Captain too, a little insurance in case he ever needed it.
It worked out even better than he’d expected. He got rid of the girl and Nell. He had the gatehouse to himself at last. He wasn’t in the least concerned when William wanted to end their affair as he had already become very tired of his heavy drinking and his dependence on him. He was fast becoming a liability.
For six years now he’d been supremely content. He took great pleasure in watching the standards at the big house falling and Anne and William clinging together like shipwrecks as their friends, neighbours and servants abandoned them. Their looks were fading, and it was only a matter of time before their money would run out too. And through it all Albert kept the garden at the peak of perfection, knowing the whole estate would be his one day.
But his plans were shattered now.
He picked up the bottle of rum from the table and took a long, hard swig.
‘I won’t leave here,’ he muttered. ‘It’s mine. I worked for it.’
Getting up, he lurched drunkenly across the kitchen, pulled open the door and looked up the drive towards the big house. He could only see the dark shape of it for the moon was behind cloud and there were no lights in any window.
There’d been a time when every window was lit, just as there were horses in the stables, wine in the cellars