Hope - Lesley Pearse [222]
But now the main thoroughfare had been cleaned up and macadamized. New warehouses had been built and prefabricated wooden huts sent out from England had sprung up everywhere in the last few weeks. The hospital had been extended with new huts too, and further ones were being erected up by the old Genoese fort on the clifftop for convalescence.
Angus went on to tell her about his hunting exploits up on the plain with some of the other officers. In the absence of foxes they’d chased the many wild dogs that roamed around the camps. He said too that they’d come across a small band of Cossacks one day and fought them off. The way he spoke gave the impression he was one of the band of officers Bennett despised most; dull-witted, over-privileged, rich and arrogant men who carried on here as if they were still in England. But Hope knew he was none of those things. She’d met some of his troopers in the hospital and knew they’d lay down their lives for him, for he cared more for their welfare than his own. He even shared his parcels from home with his men. It saddened her to think he felt it was expedient to hide his true character behind that of a buffoon.
They parted company and Hope went into the house to change into her old dress for the hospital. But once inside her room she sat down on the bed and tried hard to remember when her last courses had come. She remembered them at the start of December because that was when they had first moved into this room. But she couldn’t recall anything about January or February.
More worryingly, now that she was looking for evidence, she was aware that Angus was right in saying she’d filled out, for her clothes weren’t as loose as they’d been back at the end of last year. Until now she had put that down to eating more in the cold weather. The baker often gave her a whole loaf, which she’d wolf down with some of Nell’s jam. In fact, she was always hungry lately.
Then there was her reaction to certain smells! The officer next door smoked cigars, a smell she’d once liked but now couldn’t bear. Horse droppings too – something she’d lived with all her life – had suddenly grown offensive.
Her stomach began to churn with anxiety. If she had fallen pregnant at Christmas that made her well over two months gone now! Once she showed she would be sent home, and Bennett wouldn’t be allowed to go with her.
What if he was killed or he became sick and died? What would happen to her then?
She brushed that aside. Nell would help her, and so would Uncle Abel and Alice. But she didn’t want to be parted from Bennett. It was bad enough at the moment, but he was after all only a few miles away. Who would take care of him if she was sent home?
Picking up the small looking-glass Gussie had given her all those years ago, she held it down to her side to see how she looked. Her stomach was as flat as it always had been, so maybe she was mistaken. She just wouldn’t think about it any more.
As March slowly crept by, Hope found that it wasn’t possible to ignore her problem. Each passing day made it clearer that she was indeed pregnant, and she was undecided whether to view this with terror or joy. She had loved the newborn babies while she was in the lying-in ward at St Peter’s. Just thinking of holding her own in her arms made her melt inside. But the fact remained that this was the wrong time and the wrong place for a baby.
Other men might not showany interest in their children until they could walk and talk, but Bennett was different. He’d want to deliver his baby, to be with her throughout it all. He would hate to have to send her home alone, but he’d be terrified of it being born here because of all the disease. If she was to tell him about