Hope - Lesley Pearse [57]
A few months ago when Hope’s courses had started, Nell had explained what it meant, and that she would soon start hoping for a sweetheart. She had warned Hope against allowing any boy or man to take liberties with her, and that the outcome could be a baby.
‘You are so bonny, a great many men will want you,’ she said sternly. ‘But don’t allow yourself to be deceived, Hope, a man who truly loves you will wait for marriage.’ She had fallen silent for a while, and then suddenly caught hold of Hope’s hand really tightly. ‘But before you agree to marry, be sure that it is you he wants, your body, your mind, every-thing about you. For some men cannot truly love, they are just empty shells, wishing to hide their affliction by having a woman at their side.’
Hope knew then that this was how Nell saw Albert, an empty shell incapable of love. She had a strong suspicion too that they didn’t do the act that made babies either, or surely Nell would have had one by now.
Miss Bird, Rufus’s governess, left Briargate for good at the end of June to take up a position in Bristol. Ruth and Nell were very pleased to see her go as they had never liked her, but they did express some concern about how Rufus would spend his days until he went away to school in September.
He loathed going out visiting with his mother, but he was bored and lonely at home with no one to play with. He liked going riding with his father, but even when Sir William was home, he rarely took Rufus out with him. James tried to find time to ride with him sometimes, but since the undergroom had left, he had too much other work to do.
Hope justified her weekly secret meetings with Rufus by telling herself she was occupying him so he wouldn’t be lonely. She would first go to see Matt and Amy, but left early to have longer with Rufus. His face would light up when he saw her, and he always said that Wednesday was his favourite day.
Sometimes he brought presents for her, toffee, fudge or ripe peaches, things Hope rarely got to eat. They would go deep into the woods, often to the big pond which was surrounded by bushes and reeds, and on really hot days they took off their boots and stockings and paddled.
Hope found it was as comfortable being with Rufus as it was with members of her own family, but he was far more gentle and sweet-natured than her brothers. He didn’t mind if she just wanted to sit in the sunshine and talk, he didn’t goad her into rough games the way they did.
Although Hope had at first thought she was just being kind to a lonely boy, after the second meeting she was as anxious to see him as he was to see her. She came to see that she had been lonely too, but because she was surrounded by people all day she’d never realized it before. Nell, Ruth and all the staff at Briargate were so much older than her; they talked of nothing but their work or village gossip.
Rufus was very bright. He knew about all sorts of things that she knew nothing about; countries like India, Africa and America. He read books about these places, and would tell her about the customs and the wild animals. He said he wanted to be an explorer and find lands that no other white person had been to. He even made her wish she could go with him.
In return Hope would tell him about the people she’d grown up amongst, and relate funny stories about them.
‘I wish I met funny people,’ he said rather sadly one day after she’d been telling him how Jack Carpenter from Nutgrove Farm couldn’t catch his prize boar when it escaped. He had been hollering at it, brandishing a big stick to try to scare it back in the direction of the farm, when it charged at him and knocked him into the pond. ‘In fact I just wish I could meet any sort of people. Do you know that this year I’ve only spoken to three people apart from everyone at Briargate? Two of those were Miss Lacey and Miss Franklin, the two old ladies who come to visit Mama sometimes. They were really dull, they only talked about how tall I’d grown. The other person was the blacksmith