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18. Byrne, R. The Secret. Atria Books/Beyond Words, 2006 (DVD directed by Drew Heriot).

19. We did find one interesting incongruency in our studies. When Compassionate Communication was introduced to a group of community college students who were taking a course in the anthropology of religion, most maintained their interest in outer goals and pursuits. Getting better grades, completing school, and finding a career were the most commonly cited desires, whereas qualities like happiness, contentment, or peace were rarely mentioned. When they were, the person was usually female. Overall, the measurement of intimacy only slightly improved, and the desire of some students to openly dialogue with strangers declined. Several things might account for the difference from the religious groups we've studied. First, age: younger people have less experience with communication and intimacy, and thus may not be able to improve much with strangers. Second, college students are less focused on issues of intimacy usually associated with long-term relationships and marriage. They're in class because they want to graduate. In contrast, the adults at our workshops are there because they are explicitly interested in the experiments we conduct. Third, the day we “tested” the students, the air-conditioning wasn't working. The room was 97 degrees, certainly not the ideal environment in which to practice meditation.

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Cowan N. The magical number 4 in short-term memory: a reconsideration of mental storage capacity. Behav Brain Sci. 2001 Feb;24(1):87–114.

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Grewen KM, Girdler SS, Amico J, Light KC. Effects of partner support on resting oxytocin, cortisol, norepinephrine, and blood pressure before and after warm partner contact. Psychosom Med. 2005 Jul–Aug;67(4):531–8.

Light KC, Grewen KM, Amico JA. More frequent partner hugs and higher oxytocin levels are linked to lower blood pressure and heart rate in pre-menopausal women. Biol Psychol. 2005 Apr;69(1):5–21.

22. Hayes SC, et al. (eds.). Mindfulness and Acceptance. Guilford Press, 2004.

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24. Carlson LE, Speca M, Patel KD, Faris P. One year pre-post intervention follow-up of psychological, immune, endocrine and blood pressure outcomes of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) in breast and prostate cancer outpatients. Brain Behav Immun. 2007 Nov;21(8):1038–49.

Toneatto T, Nguyen L. Does mindfulness meditation improve anxiety and mood symptoms? A review of the controlled research. Can J Psychiatry. 2007 Apr;52(4):260–6.

Jain S, Shapiro SL, Swanick S, Roesch SC, Mills PJ, Bell I, Schwartz GE. A randomized controlled trial of mindfulness meditation versus relaxation training: effects on distress, positive states of mind, rumination, and distraction. Ann Behav Med. 2007 Feb;33(1):11–21.

Hoppes K. The application of mindfulness-based cognitive interventions in the treatment of co-occurring addictive and mood disorders. CNS Spectr. 2006 Nov;11(11):829–51.

Finucane A, Mercer SW. An exploratory mixed methods study of the acceptability and effectiveness of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for patients with active depression and anxiety in primary care. BMC Psychiatry. 2006 Apr 7;6:14.

Smith JE, Richardson J, Hoffman C, Pilkington K. Mindfulness-based stress reduction as supportive therapy in cancer care: systematic review. J Adv Nurs.