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disagree as to its origins. It could have come from the prostitute term “to blow someone off,” meaning to release sexual energy, or from a nickname for very fast jet planes (blow jobs), or from jazz musician parlance of blowing an instrument. Homosexuals claimed “blow job” in the 1960s, around the time that Andy Warhol made his controversial film of the same name. The formerly vulgar term now seems to crop up everywhere, especially in casual heterosexual speech. Yet the first people I ever heard say it aloud were gay men, in the 1980s. “Blow job” seems to fall into that category of so many phrases—it has gone from straight to gay and then back to straight again.

Sexual terms that now stay firmly inside the gay community will continue to filter into straight conversation, especially terms for anal, oral, and manual sex, including rimming (oral/anal sex), teabagging (oral/scrotal sex), and fisting (hand-into-orifice sex). The concepts of “top” and “bottom” and “butch” and “femme” are just now making their way into the sexual vocabularies of hip straight people.

And while we’re on the subject of the future of gay/ straight language, I think that as gay men continue to assimilate, they will rehabilitate even more words to casually describe themselves. Just as “queer,” a formerly pejorative term, has now been ennobled and is used freely by straight and gay people alike, we will see other former slurs emerge as safe and even prideful terms.

My bet for the next rehabilitated term is “faggot,” which is already showing a major comeback in the gay community.

Chapter 3

Community, Rituals, and Home

Sometimes, the fact that a neighborhood is predominantly

gay is the prime engine in increasing the value of its homes.

Why? Gay homebuyers can be counted on to go beyond

basic maintenance and cleaning of their properties, invest ing money, care and creativity in improving the properties.

The result is a more attractive and desirable neighborhood

that future homebuyers will be interested in.

—Robert Thomason, The Gay Financial Network

The [Black and White] ball was one of his major works. As much a major work as some of his short stories. He sat there planning it all summer long.

—Leo Lerman, talking about Truman Capote’s famous 1966 party at the Plaza in New York City

It all began as a simple gathering of friends in 1984. Now,

Halloween in New Orleans has evolved into one of the

most celebrated gay circuit weekends of the year, and it is

THE gay destination for Halloween.

—from a New Orleans tourist brochure

Home is where the heart is. If it is a stereotype that gay men like to make things look nice, is that so bad? All across the country, gay men renovate historical housing stock, creating enclaves for themselves and for artists of all sexual persuasions. Where they live, and the style in which they do it, is a great part of the heart of gay culture. Eventually, straight people flock to these places that have become so hip and lively.

Welcome to the “gayborhood.”

The Village and Chelsea in New York, Provincetown, The Castro in San Francisco, Boys Town in Chicago, German-town and Clintonville in Columbus, Ohio, Oaklawn in Dallas, Montrose in Houston, Capitol Hill in Seattle, Dupont Circle in Washington, D.C., South Beach in Miami—these and many other communities across the nation are setting the standard for trendy, hip places to live. With cafés, restaurants, and small, enticing shops, these places are on the vanguard of what people want in a community.

A friend just bought a house in Jersey City, New Jersey. Her husband was nervous on closing day until he met their future neighbors, a gay male couple gutting the structure next door, with plans for a total renovation.

“We’re okay now,” her husband said. “I know the neighborhood will improve. There are gay guys here.”

Pioneers of the New Urban Civilization: Gays as First Movers

Until recently, proving the gay role in the revitalization of neighborhoods has been difficult, because most of the evidence has been anecdotal. In 1990, the