How the Homosexuals Saved Civilization - Cathy Crimmins [7]
Gay Men and the Irony Epidemic
Gay men have provided heterosexuals with caustic, exaggerated visions of our sexuality and gender roles. They have taken what has seemed familiar and comfortable to us and turned it on its ear. It is impossible now to see Leave It to Beaver or The Brady Bunch without snickering at the silliness of the average straight family. Can anyone watch a Joan Crawford movie and not think Mommy Dearest? The martini, long a 1960s suburban staple designed to ease the homecom ing of the weary heterosexual breadwinner, passed out of popularity, only to be revived in gay bars and given new life with rather precious ingredients (apple, chocolate, etc.). And now, of course, Middle America has embraced with gusto this “new” trend of elaborate mixed cocktails.
It is tempting to see gay men as the canaries of culture, out there ahead, breathing in dangerous new trends before they catch on with the rest of the population. But this is too passive a way of thinking about the enormous impact of gay sensibility on popular culture. Gay men create trends, and straight people are damn lucky that an “immigrant” group with such a fine aesthetic sense is out there on the vanguard, providing a new way of approaching every aspect of our daily lives.
What Is Gay? Applying the Lenny Bruce Rule
In the sixties, the comedian Lenny Bruce performed a brilliant routine about what is Jewish and what is gentile, or goyish. He took the concept of being Jewish beyond ethnicity, and beyond literal definition:
Dig: I’m Jewish. Count Basie’s Jewish. Ray Charles is Jewish. Eddie Cantor’s goyish . . . Marine corp—heavy goyim, dangerous. Kool-Aid is goyish. All Drake’s Cakes are goyish. Pumpernickel is Jewish, and, as you know, white bread is very goyish. . . . Trailer parks are so goyish that Jews won’t go near them. Underwear is definitely goyish. Balls are goyish. Titties are Jewish. Mouths are Jewish. All Italians are Jewish. Greeks are goyish—bad sauce. Eugene O’Neil—Jewish; Dylan Thomas, Jewish . . .
Bruce goes on to say that if you live in New York City, even if you’re a Christian, you are Jewish, and that if you’re Jewish and reside in Butte, Montana, you are still a goy. His routine is a true comedy classic because it gets laughs by defining ethnicity as part of a larger cultural environment. To be Jewish is to share certain tastes and preferences—it has nothing to do with religious beliefs.
His flexible definitions transfer perfectly to “gayness.” If you’re straight and live in Provincetown, Massachusetts, Key West, or West Hollywood, you are gay, whatever your sexual preference. If you live in Midland, Michigan, you’re going to be straight, no matter how many same-sex encounters you have daily or weekly. All actors are gay, whereas all civil engineers are straight. Interior decorators are homos; dentists are hets.
Defining a gay aesthetic is tricky. This is the place where stereotypes collide with valid observations. You can say that iceberg lettuce is straight and arugula is gay, but of course there are many gay men who adore iceberg lettuce for its real self, and then others who love it for its ironic effect in hip restaurants where it’s served in wedges with blue cheese and bacon. Likewise, many straight people live for arugula salads. But in the end, iceberg is straight, arugula is gay—no doubt about it.
Yet I, a straight woman, have an obsession with arugula. But it doesn’t count, because growing up in a rural area, I was introduced to arugula under the name of “rocket salad.” How dorky is that? How straight is that?
A young gay man once tried to explain to me why army was straight and navy was gay. “The navy has cuter uniforms. They’re not butch, like army fatigues. The navy pants make the guys’ asses look good. The navy guys are away for a long time, in close quarters together. And then of course there ’s the obvious‘cruise’ metaphor.”
The gay/straight lists of things thread through our culture, forming the yin and yang of American society. Tennis is gay; golf is straight. Wrestling