How to Be an American Housewife - Margaret Dilloway [39]
His face rumpled as he tried to decipher what I had said. “But it’s already done. Don’t worry about it.” He patted my hand. “You know, science isn’t for everyone. Sue’s a nice girl. Too quiet. I barely notice her.” He gave me a little salute and turned and walked away.
I stood and waved to Sue. She walked over, her short heels making a dull clicking noise on the tile. “What?”
“These people know nothing.” I shook my head. “No help kid out.”
“Mom. Lower your voice.” Sue shrank herself down again.
“I tell you what, science fair not fair.” I watched the parents, undoubtedly congratulating their Ph.D. minds on completing an eighth-grader’s work. The cardiologist dad slung an arm casually around his son. I thought about putting my arm around Sue to comfort her, in the American way, but while I was thinking about it the moment passed and Sue moved out of reach. “No good school,” I said instead.
“Just forget about it, Mom.”
I looked up at her. She was so beautiful, so tall. Only a few friends ever came around. Her teachers hardly noticed her. How could she be so invisible to everyone? “You got speak up, Suiko, get what you want.”
She sighed heavily, opened and closed her mouth. I wondered what she had been about to say.
I watched the parents for a minute, trying to figure out who had money and who didn’t, who was nice and who wasn’t, and was unable to. I looked at my own clothes and felt like a pretender.
The bell rang. Sue moved around her tadpole jars. The parents began filing out. I stayed put, watching my daughter move aimlessly, her head down.
“Sue, I tell you. Not right, how they do this. I talk principal.” I put my hand on her shoulder.
She shrugged away. “Forget it, okay?” She turned and strode off. “I’ll see you after school.” I waited until she left, then went home myself.
“ MOM , WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” Sue’s voice startled me over the clicking keyboards and phone beeps in her office. Maybe I had been daydreaming too long.
I breathed in and out. What would Sue believe? The Marine base with the Commissary was a few miles away from her work. As retirees, we got to use it as much as we liked. I had never been there without Charlie. I looked Sue in the eyes, a lighter, more golden brown than mine. “Oh, you know, I go Commissary. Thought I say hi.” I waved. “Hi.”
“Where’s Dad?”
I made a show of rolling my eyes. “Daddy never let me get good food. Always penny-pinching. I go alone, get what I want. Dad help Mike move.”
Sue twirled her pen in her fingers. I could read her. My mother has lost her mind. “I’m surprised to see you, that’s all.”
“You no want me here, I go.” I knew she would not tell me to leave. “Want to see where daughter work.”
She glanced at her clock, calculating how many more minutes she had to spend with me before she could politely say good-bye. It was something she had started doing early on, around age nine. I couldn’t say I blamed her. I had done the same with her sometimes when she was younger, wanting only to rest when she was ready to play.
“Mom. I can take lunch now. You want me to come with you?”
“If you like.” I took care to make it sound like her suggestion. “Maybe get food for you, too. I take home and put fridge.”
“Mom, I’m fine. I don’t need you to buy groceries.” She was offended.
She was a single parent. Of course we would help her whenever we could. We didn’t have much, but we had more than enough for food. “I like to. My treat.” I inhaled again. I must talk to her about Japan. “Maybe good mommy-daughter time, huh?”
She gave me a strange look. True, I had never used such a term. And, true, I had never tried to do things with her, the way some other modern American mothers did. I never took her out to lunch. We never chatted on the phone. I felt my heart do a fast thump-thump, unexpected.
I needed to tell Sue the other bit of news before I told her about Japan. Aunt Suki, my sister. I studied the desk. “Aunt Suki die.”
“Today?”
“Couple month ago. Her husband just now write.” I shrugged, not wanting Sue to see