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I was lucky to have Tony at that time in my life, and it probably helped that he was from my neighborhood. I think that helped me stay open to listening to him. It was a big struggle for me to learn how to trust, and as I've gotten older and read more about it, that seems to be a pretty common problem for kids from challenging backgrounds. In my case, it seemed like just about everyone in my life who was supposed to take care of me had failed me. My birth parents failed me; some of my foster families failed me; the broken system at Child Protective Services had failed me; the judges who kept sending me back to bad situations failed me. Because of that, it was tough to think anyone could have good motives. I mean, just look at how my brothers and I saw Ms. Spivey. We thought she was a horrible woman who was trying to break up our family. We didn't realize that she was trying to get us into more stable, safer homes than what we had. It was a big deal to find someone I felt I could really trust.

From talking with other kids who grew up in neighborhoods like mine, I have found out that very often, even the coaches can't be trusted. A lot of times there are guys who coach inner-city teams just because they want to "discover" the next big pro athlete who will be their meal ticket in a few years. They aren't coaching the kid because they care about him but because they want to be able to hang around when he gets rich and famous; they call him up or come by his house for money. The kid gets used for his talent, and there is an expected "payback" for the coach. It's disgusting and pathetic, but it happens all the time.

Tony seemed to be concerned with helping me develop as a player as well as looking out for my well-being. I needed that kind of support, and I was very grateful for it. He tried to help me adjust my attitude and start thinking differently so that I would be ready for whatever opportunities high school varsity sports might bring my way.

CHAPTER TEN

The Road to Briarcrest

Great opportunities might occasionally fall in someone's lap, but I believe you are much more likely to find one when you go out and chase the opportunity down. That's exactly what I did as I prepared for my sophomore year of high school. It seemed like there was a great opportunity for me to get a better education and to have access to better sports programs, and I was determined to jump on it.

I'd already stopped pretending that a normal life for me at home was possible. I had a place to sleep at my mother's house, but it was just a mattress on the floor. My mother was doing a pretty good job of staying clean at that point, but she wasn't especially interested in me or what I was up to and pretty much just left me alone entirely. I just knew I didn't want the kind of life she had. I wanted something better, even if I didn't know what it was or how to get it. I loved her and my brothers so much, but home felt like a hole I was stuck in and couldn't climb out of. I didn't want to stay trapped.

So instead of staying with my mother, most of the time I was moving from house to house, sleeping with whoever would let me stay and eating whatever food they'd let me have. I finally settled on staying with Big Tony's family because they were the best example of what I wanted my own family life to be like.

Steve was one of those kids who was working, instead of just wishing, his way out of the projects--good grades, good athlete, no trouble. That's one reason why I liked staying at their house. The other reason was that they lived in a neighborhood outside of the projects. Just the fact that they were a family that had made it out--and stayed out--was a big deal to me. My mother moved us to places that weren't public housing several times, but we always eventually ended up back in the 'hood, like it was some big magnet that kept pulling us back, no matter how far away we got from it. But Tony's family was an example to me that the ghetto doesn't have to have an iron grip on a family. They weren't rich by any means, but that